LOS ANGELES – Assence Films has announced Rammed By Sam, the studio’s first Gay Porn Parody title.
The film was immediately put into production when Jack Burkman, an Extreme Christian Lobbyist called for a relentless national boycott of whichever team drafted Mizzou Defensive End Michael Sam. Burkman released a statement saying “Visa and the Rams will learn that when you trample the Christian community and Christian values, there will be a terrible financial price to pay. Openly gay football players send a terrible message to our youth about morality. Somebody needs to step up because the moral fiber of the nation is eroding.”
Mike Kulich, Assence Films CEO has stepped up to defend that Moral Fiber, but from Michael Sam and the NFL’s corner. His response is a 115 minute parody that follows Sam, a gay NFL prospect as he is drafted to a pro NFL team. As the whole world watches Sam’s dream come true, a closeted bigot named Jack gathers his troops to try to derail Sam’s success. Eventually, Sam confronts Jack and sparks fly when Jack eventually gets bent over by the Defensive End and Sam converts Jack from a Tight End to a Wide Receiver.
“We here at Assence Films believe in equal rights for everyone and do not tolerate bigots or hatred of any kind” said Kulich. “The fact of the matter is that the majority of homophobes are actually closeted guys that just need to be loosened up and stretched out. Just look at Larry Craig and Ed Schrock.”
The studio has partnered up with SkweezMe.com and the title will be released exclusively on the site for VOD Streaming.
“We have agreed to donate 50% of all profits from this title to GLAAD and the great people at SkweezMe.com have agreed to match that donation Dollar for Dollar” Kulich added. “Football is America’s game and America’s past time. No one should be restricted from enjoying such an amazing sport because of who they love.” Kulich added.
The film will also release on DVD in July and will be available at Adult Stores nationwide as well as online retailers.
I am laughing my head off. What a absolutely hilarious article. Congrats to Assence Films and SkweezMe.com for stepping up and putting special interest groups like the moral majority hypocrites like Jack Burkman in their place. Robert Thompson at http://www.rt1959.com/