Give Us The Money Or Your Dog Gets It – Based On A True Porn Story

As most know, TRPWL isn’t one to just report rumors, unless I pretend they’re rumors but I really know it’s the truth and I just say it’s a rumor in a effort to throw you off to then make you wonder how I knew it was true if it was just a rumor.

Brook napped

The following account might or might not be true… I’ve changed the names to protect the dog from more hardship..

Once upon a time in a land of ridiculous condom laws, false prophets and Amazon wishlists there was a blonde girl named Josephina Medulla Oblongata, but most just called her Jess.. Jess had blonde hair, large boobs, and glasses, shot porn, and did it all. Along the way she developed a overseas following and was in high demand for speaking engagements and and coed softball..

Apparently the way she handled balls was so good that overseas ball teams started trying to recruit her for various games. But she mostly played for one guy, he was also a driver and dabbled in other things that clouded his judgement.. She would always say, “why should I go play with balls over there when I can play here”.

But soon the allure of overseas ball playing was to much to pass up.

When a couple of ball managers approached her and said “we will get you lots of money for one game”, she broke down and accepted.

So the big game is set and the ball managers tell her, “they will give you the ball fee, please bring back our player management fee”, to which she agreed.

So off she went..So happy to be catching balls over seas she just sat and daydreamed on the plane, ‘I wonder if overseas balls are bigger? Once I have overseas balls will i go back? Wasn’t there something I was supposed to do before I left? Why is Y only a vowel sometimes? I hope I never break a sex toy inside me…’

Meanwhile, back in the land of Amazon wish lists, a director named Ruby Hordan had booked Jess to shoot but she didn’t show due to her overseas ball game — prompting Ruby to tweet a not very nice thing.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Jess also had a speaking engagement she had forgotten about in England. So the guy that booked her for the speaking tour calls and and asks why she’s not in England? So after her game she books a one way ticket to England, but not before she buys some cool new shoes with some of her ball money. Once she realizes she can’t carry any more ball money, she hides the rest in her shoes..

She lands in England and customs pulls her aside and says “hey you big-breasted hottie, why are you carrying so much cash? She has no answer, can’t tell them were she’s going or really why she’s there..

She then tells them shes dating the greatest ball player in all the land. They call him and he denies knowing her. Next they call the guy who booked her for the ball game and that doesn’t help, they make a few more calls and rumor has it that she says she knows TRPWL aka The CIA of porn, they then release her..Im not sure how much that last part is tru, rumors you know..

Back in the states, the ball managers who booked her realized while shes a great ball player, shes not smart. How could they be sure she will give them their cut of the hardball, I mean softball money?

And just like that, it hits them..Lets get her dog and hold if for ransom..Somehow these dog lovers got her dog and when she got back proceeded to negotiate the dogs release. Negotiators were brought in from everywhere. After days of heated talks, the money changed hands and the dog was released unharmed.

Since then, maybe due to the kidnapping of the dog she quit porn but still plays ball..

For those who worry about this dog getting kidnapped again dont worry, the dog has left Jess and relocated. He now lives on a farm over looking a meadow next to a babbling creek

Please follow and like us:
 

3 Responses to "Give Us The Money Or Your Dog Gets It – Based On A True Porn Story"

  1. Imposter Foster   May 11, 2013 3:17 pm at 3:17 PM

    People who aren’t responsible pet owners are not of the light.

     
    Reply
  2. crunkleschwitz   May 15, 2013 8:31 am at 8:31 AM

    Whores gotta learn from Jews. Jews never kept wealth in cash, because they never knew when another persecution would come up and they would have to split to a different country where it would be useless. Gold, Jewel, Art. This dim whore coulda shoved a sack of diamonds in her cunt, then come home and pawned em. Sure maybe she would lose some $, but probably mot as much as the IRS would take. And really, Uncle Sam didn’t have to rim an Arab’s shitty asshole, so why should he get a cut?

    Was it at least a big dog, or did the pimp take like a pug or some shit?

    Any how, the story would make a good Comedy Parody, if the whore hired the 3 Stooges or the Marx Bros to get the dog back.

     
    Reply
  3. Pingback: Condoms Could've Saved Jessie Rogers' Asshole - TRPWL

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.