A month or so ago, I wrote about how everyone’s favorite PR Guru Erika Icon, the owner of The Rub PR who had blogged about how she passed on working for porn sensation Belle Knox. She passed for reasons that only the dumbest of the dumb would understand. In the same article she promoted her latest client Sugar Cum…

A good example of good press and a growing company would be our client, HiPleasures, who just came out with a product called Sugar Cum

Flash forward to the other day, I’m sitting on my toilet playing online poker and I get this text. The text has a link, and I like any award winning journalist who’s taking a shit and playing online poker, I click the link…

The link lead me to a VICE online review of Erika’s pride and joy Sugar Cum. The guy who wrote it, apparently ate his own cum after using SugarCum. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, why would anyone buy Sugar Cum?

Below are a couple blurbs from the review:

You see, after I swallowed, an intense burning filled my throat. My throat felt itchy—like acid was trapped in my trachea—and then I coughed. The pill made me gag several more times and then thick saliva—or partially more cum—shot up my throat.

I lied on the floor, worrying I was having an allergic reaction to sperm like that chick from XoJane. The idea of an ER visit made me more nauseous, because I’d have to explain that I had eaten my own cum. Instead, I took a shower to calm down. Several minutes later, my sore throat started to die down.

The pill forced me to spit when I wanted to swallow. That’s fucked up, but I’m not sure what’s worse: gagging on cum that tastes like a bloomin’ onion or gagging on cum that tastes like blueberries? Oprah chai tea made my jizz both delicious and easy to digest, but I’m way too broke to drink a Starbucks tea every time I bust a nut. It seems like no matter what, cum is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Now, I’m just a simple minded guy with a Texas education, but if I didn’t know better Id say that wasn’t a very nice thing to say about SugarCum. With that in mind, I was almost 95% sure Erika was in crisis mode. Most likely reaching out to Vice to send them another batch…

We score major coverage for our clients? Yes, you just got your client shredded on a top 1000 site Erika, a site that roughly 300,000 people visit each day…. Not only shredded, but now you’re actively promoting the shredding to the people still dumb enough to think you know what you’re doing. On top of that, you’re now telling us that people are lining up to so they can feel like a pile of shit? Really?

Here’s some free advice, when promoting a product the consumer has to actually pay money for, give the people a reason to buy it. I don’t think burning throats and trips to the ER will get the cash register ringing…

Once again Erika, you ARE the worst PR person ever, and I mean that in a non sexual way…