Unexpected Effects of Pornography Use .. I Call BullShyt

Mar 17, 2012
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I found this on a website called THE ANTI PORN MEN PROJECT…

I first got interested in the psychology of pornography a year or so ago when I read a book called “The Brain that changes itself”, by Norman Doidge. In one of the chapters he discusses a client who he worked with who was having problems with online pornography. The book is excellent, and well worth a read, but it was this chapter that really got me thinking.

My story of how I came to battle with my porn use is unusual, but probably not isolated. I really didn’t use pornography at all until I was about 28 and even then, at such a low level as to be almost negligible. I was briefly exposed to it as a sixteen year old, but just simply never got into it. It was a combination of things which changed everything. The main thing though was having private and easy access via a computer to lots of pornography. I started using it more often because my wife and I had our first child and as such, a heap of things changed, some of which I was expecting, and some not. I like to think of myself as a pro feminist male. I married my wife because she is a serious feminist and I respect and love her for it. I love being involved in raising my two young boys and we work hard to have a very loving and fair relationship. And so, with myself and my wife tired from our new parental responsibilities I thought I would use pornography as a way to have some harmless enjoyment, and leave my wife to get all the sleep she needed. We even discussed this, and she was all for it.

Little did I know what I was in for. It has been quite disturbing to experience the changes in my mind that have happened as a result of my increased pornography use. After using porn, for the next few days I find unwanted images and thoughts in my mind, sparked by the most unexpected experiences. However, what really shocked me was an experience at a good friend of mine’s place one night, whilst over for dinner. My two little boys were sharing a bath with their 8 year old daughter and I went in to get the kids out and changed and all of a sudden, my mind started bringing up sexualised thoughts upon seeing a naked 8 year old girl. I was so shocked I walked straight out and asked my wife if she could take over. This is not something you can tell anyone. They are not thoughts that I have ever in my life even entertained, and yet, there it was, out of nowhere. But not really out of nowhere. I now realize that a lot of the porn I had been looking at depicts women with no pubic hair – not something I even particularly like, or had even noticed…but, it had, unbeknownst to me, become etched in my mind. The fact that pornography could do that to me, disturbed me very much, and as a result, I had a discussion with my wife about my increasing use of porn, and have taken steps to manage it, but it is difficult and I have to remain quite vigilant. I dont know what we are going to do to stop this problem. I know that for me, if I hadn’t had a computer and easy access to it, I doubt that my porn use would have ever become the issue it has become.

It is encouraging that there is a place where men can openly discuss the dangerous nature of pornography for our psyches. Because, largely in our society, and especially amongst the vast majority of men, we are encouraged to laugh it off as a trivial matter, which increasingly, many of us know that it isn’t.

So this closet pedophile is blaming bald VJs for his twisted thoughts? Not only that but who lets there 8 year old daughter take a bath with 2 little boys? WTF


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