Most of you have no clue who Eve Lawrence is. A Bazzilion years ago, Eve was a B-list performer shooting before the internet took over. Meaning she made a living in a porn environment where there wasn’t a whole lot of competition. Luckily for us, because she’s a train wreck, Eve is going to learn she’s a nobody. It won’t be long before she’s doing triple anal with Johnny Goodluck, James Bartholet, and Billy Boston. Probably won’t hurt much, since none of them can get an erection.
I guess Eve isn’t going to shoot porn ever again; she clearly states that on March 23rd.
They say meth messes with your brain.
Lots to unpack here. First and most importantly, this crazy bitch thinks she can make enough money shooting porn to buy a HOUSE. Who does she think she is? Erika Shrek Icon?
“As of early 2026, the average home value in Maryland is approximately $420,000 to $430,000, with median sale prices hovering around $392,000 to $420,000 depending on the source. ”
400K? I personally feel that she should focus on what little money she has coming in on Zoloft and Lithium. Given Eve’s lack of popularity, her being a fucking psycho, and top-flight cuntiness, she would have to shoot approximately 166 scenes to get the 20% down payment, 166 x 505 = 84,000. At 3 scenes a month, it will take 5.7 years to get the down payment. And that’s assuming she can get 505 per scene, and she could save it all. Lots of variables here. Now, if she were Rick Madrid or Dasha Madera, as he’s known at Loaves and Fishes, she would command 10,000 a scene, and things would move along much faster. Choo Choo.
You know what else 84,000 would cover?
- TMS Therapy (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation): $8,400 is within the range to pay for a full course of TMS therapy ($6,000–$12,000) for treatment-resistant depression, a non-invasive procedure that stimulates brain cells.
- Out-of-Pocket Specialized Therapy: The funds could cover a year or more of weekly therapy with a private provider (approx. $100–$200 per session), or intensive outpatient programs (IOP) that may not be fully covered by insurance.
- Private Psychiatric Care: Fees for in-depth evaluations and consultations with specialists, including initial diagnostic assessments and ongoing medication management.
- Residential/Intensive Care: A significant down payment or partial coverage for a specialized, private residential treatment center to address severe, acute issues.
Shalom Eve, we are here to help you make money, more next week. Hashem.
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