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Seduction versus coercion: accountability is such a bitch

Another great post from JudgyBitch —

In news that probably comes a shock to approximately no one, more than 40% of young men report being on the receiving end of unwanted sexual activity, and 95% of those men report the perpetrators as women.

Over 4 in 10 participants (43%) experienced sexual coercion: more specifically, the participants reported: verbal coercion (31%,n86), seduction coercion (26%,n73), physical coercion (18%,n52), and substance coercion (7%,n19). Rates were comparable across high school and college students. Racial differences were found such that Asian participants reported significantly lower rates of sexual coercion than Black, White, and Latino participants. Ninety-five percent of the respondents reported women as the perpetrators; participants also described internal obligation, seductive, and peer pressure tactics in descriptions of coercion experiences.

Bill Maher made a little sketch comedy about this study, calling it “Lucky Bastard Syndrome”.

The men in this skit are all well-groomed, well-proportioned and very nice looking, which implies the women they are apparently turning down for sex are similarly well-groomed and well-proportioned, making it seem just crazy that the dudes might turn down sex, right?  What, some hot chick wants to roll your ass and you’re not down with it?  Preposterous!

Maher’s incredulity that a man might want something other than sex (Gasp! What else could he possibly want?) plays into the idea that all men ever think about or ever want is sex.  Sex, sex and more sex.  Jezebel even picked up the story and of course linked it to a toxic masculinity that dictates men must chase the pussy at all times, everywhere, under all circumstances.

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  • It's one of those things that sounds like a joke until it happens to you. I don't think it's a life-shattering trauma, but it is an uncomfortable and awkward moment when anyone, regardless of gender, presses their attentions on you when you're clearly not interested. I wouldn't assume that all the women who have tried to induce men to have sex are attractive, at least not to the men who responded. Personal tastes aside, what if the guy is (gasp!) gay? Or if the woman is drunk and behaving obnoxiously? Or if you suspect there might be a grudge-fuck agenda or that she might be married to a MMA contender she's trying to piss off?

    Many years ago a friend of mine was picked up at a Hollywood bar by Jayne Mansfield, who was married to the wrestler Micky Hargitay at the time. He was young and horny and didn't consider the consequences - a failing that might afflict many of us if the seducer was Jayne Mansfield or the like. Everything was unfolding like out of a dream - until Micky showed up unexpectedly. The experience went downhill from there quite rapidly, ending with my friend running for his life.

    There are a number of reasons why a particular man might not welcome a sexual overture from a specific woman under various circumstances, such as when her husband is a maniacally jealous professional athlete.

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