“You are in”, was the reply I received from Dan Leal, CEO of Immoral Productions, after I sent my pictures in for a spot on the ‘Fuck A Fan’ live porn shoot. At that moment I knew it was time to fuck or walk, literally. I’ve always wanted to do a porn shoot more than anything and here was my chance, probably my only chance. So I said to myself, “Let’s saddle up. You’re getting your ass on a plane to California.” And thus began my adventure to Chatsworth, an awesome town on the outskirts of Los Angeles County to do live gonzo with Tory Lane, Siri, and Megan Piper.
The flight out was a mini adventure in and of itself. TSA was pain in the ass because the “I didn’t know” excuse just doesn’t work with them. I was really pissed off they confiscated my $36 jar of Manuka Honey from New Zealand which is the tastiest substance on earth (know the TSA 3-1-1 Rule, it goes a long way getting through their bullshit). After I was sodomized by the TSA I volunteered to bump my flight out of the airport and the airline gave me $800 in flight vouchers and an upgrade to Business Class which made me real happy.
I was also given access to the Sky Lounge with free drinks and all the humus and carrot sticks I could eat. And ironically, I met a couple from New Zealand in the Lounge who were fully able to share my pain over the loss of the Honey. The flight attendant on the way out was a really cute Midwestern blond named Cindy, with a smile that was amazing. She kept bustling over to me and offering me a cookie with her bright smile and beautiful blue eyes. After the fourth or fifth time of her offering me a ‘cookie’ it became a double entendre with the cutest little giggle from her.
On arrival in Chatsworth I found it to be one of the coolest places around. The people are genuinely friendly and Nat’s Café in Canoga Park serves a pretty damn good breakfast. Believe it or not, I was in the hotel lobby and there was a dude surfing porn right in plain view. Dude didn’t even fucking care! I was also surprised to see a bunch of County Sheriffs hanging out in the parking lot of Starbucks drinking coffee. No way you’d see that where I come from.
On shoot day I arrived at the studio and met Dan Leal, the man behind “Fuck A Fan” and found him to be pretty friendly, laid back, and cordial. He’s able to make a stranger in a strange land feel comfortable in his studio and I think he’s a pretty cool dude overall. The first girl to arrive at the shoot was 20 year old Megan Piper. The only way to describe this girl is a Joey Ramone song that has come to life with a dollop of Bad Tinkerbell. She’s brunette that’s got a sweet, tight ass, a great set of firm tits to match, and she wore a hot pink bow in her hair. I wanted to take my Manuka Honey, that those TSA fuckers confiscated in the name of National Security, and pour it all over Megan’s ass and pussy and lick it all off with a fully extended tongue .
The second girl to show up was the incredible Tory Lane. When Tory enters a room she throws off blue lightening like one of the Three Storms from John Carpenter’s “Big Trouble in Little China.” She is Master and Commander of that porn set and treated me mighty fine in the process. She’s super generous, a hella-lotta fun, and talking with her is almost as pleasurable as fucking her awesome, wet pussy hole.
Third and finally the voluptuous Siri showed up on set. Siri didn’t really walk into the studio she sort of floats when she walks like a cherubic goddess from Nordic folklore. I actually had to rub my eyes when I looked at her because my peripheral vision would go hazy. I have to admit I was a little shy around Siri because she’s so damn beautiful. I really wanted to take her in the back and do a love making scene before the shoot where I lick every square inch of her body and fuck her for three hours but I digress, let’s get back to reality.
The actual shoot was amazing. I started off by jumping in there in front of the camera and pounding Tory’s pussy and hard as I could. It was dirty, man, but I loved every minute of it. Tory was all sorts of sweaty and her skin tasted salty. She’d spit on my cock as she blew me and at one point she put both my cock and balls in her mouth and slid her tongue over “the boys” smooth like Teflon.
After a little more fucking Tory commanded the fluffers to service me and that’s when I shared a beautiful moment with Siri. Siri and I locked gazes and, as I stared into her gorgeous brown eyes that were deep as pools, she told me I had a beautiful cock, as her lush lips wrapped around the head of my penis. While that was going on I was playing with Megan Piper’s hard little nipples. By the way, for all you guys out there reading this, this is the definition of sensory overload. When the fluffers were done with me Tory took the reins again and told me to eat her pussy.
I started eating her pussy like R.P. McMurphy on bath salts (OK, not quite that extreme) and must have put about a quart of saliva all over her delicious cunt. After that, Tory got on all fours and demanded that I tongue her asshole, of which, I aptly complied. At this point I was pretty much losing cabin pressure with my tongue darting in and out of Tory’s sweet asshole. After some more fucking I then chilled out with Megan stroking my cock. I swear that girl has the hands of a surgeon when it comes to stroking cock. I’m sure that I would’ve popped just from her beating me off.
Afterwards, I’m happy I accomplished what I set out to do and that was to work on a porn set. I’ll have to admit though I did make a classic newb fuckup. During the “Fuck A Fan” show there’s three segments of which I was the in the last segment. So I had so time to kill and I didn’t want to get nervous. I had brought some concentrated Kava Kava on set to calm down. The stuff is so strong it has an ouzo effect when added to water. I did not realize it would make me too relaxed for the shoot.
I think some people might have thought I was a little gun shy but that was clearly not the case. The camera really didn’t bother me either. The fact is I was a little too sedated from the Kava! Fuck me, better luck next time. I will say during the shoot at that studio I learned more about porn and how it’s made than I ever would sitting behind a computer and reading about it. In the end Tory, Megan, Siri, Dan and his crew were all great and I enjoyed every minute of their company. Hope I can see them all again soon. On the plane ride back I was watching “The Big Lebowski” and a certain quote from John Goodman’s character Walter Sobchak stuck in my mind: “If you will it, Dude, it is no dream.”
Editors Note: I really don’t like this guy. Why does he get to fuck Tory and not me? I find this story to be nothing but bragging and feel compelled to hunt him and Porno Dan down and beat them…I may beat Porno Dan a little worse since he’s a soccer fan…
Check out Fuck A Fan
Thanks to Gimmick856 for giving me this guy’s name and address… Dakine, you keep your liver spotted hands off Tory, she’s a saint.
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