Someone is shopping around a Kris Jenner sex tape, and if it’s anyone other than Kris Jenner herself, I will eat Kim Kardashian‘s weave. The supposed tape apparently depicts Kris and her first and late husband Robert Kardashian getting down in their kinky, 80s heyday and everyone is REALLY excited to see it, given how famous Kris is, and how successful and well-regarded. Oh wait, those facts aren’t super-duper true. In actuality, the incredibly self-infatuated Kris is kind of more known for clawing her way into the spotlight over the pregnant bodies of her own daughters, so I wonder who might be responsible for this sex-tape ‘leak’. Let me put on my Sherlock Holmes hat with the fuzzy ears and see if I can puzzle this out based on the National Enquirer article that announced it. Here’s a telling tidbit:

“Insiders believe the mas­termind of the Kardashian empire may have been caught on video during the 1980s, when she and her late husband Robert lived a wild lifestyle. And the incredible sex tape could now, after all these years, hit the market because of her huge success and threaten her estimated $75 million fortune.”

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