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• I would like to extend Xander an invitation to my humble abode on the forthcoming Tuesday evening. Rob, Bitch Byron, and Fake Mike South will all attend in addition to Paco and Ping, my Peruvian and Laotian house boys. You see, on Tuesdays we fill gobblets with Chivas, pass the crack pipe, and once everyone is thoroughly impaired, we engage in a festival of ball suckling and rectal digital insertions.

  Tuesdays are the day we set aside to experience the full range of pleasure that the prostate has to offer. Sure the ball sucking is secondary, but heed my words, it is an integral part of the festivities.

  I hope you aren't put off by scars, young Xander. Paco and Ping's backs are both scarred from whippings during their training. Ping also possessed a circular shaped scar in the vicinity of his clavicle and throat, which he received from a broken Glenlivet bottle, on an evening where he thought it was wise to handle my tarot deck with cum covered hands. Laotians are tough to get through to but once you do they are as loyal as a Jack Russell.

  Fake Mike South also has a scar from when his hip was replaced, because of an injury sustained when a butterfly landed on his shoulder. He swears the beast was a Monarch, but I witnessed the attack and could plainly see it was a Viceroy. That chap knows as little about Lepidopterology as he does the Pornographic Industry. His saving graces are his succulent mouth and accommodating buttocks.

  I digress. The invitation is open to you, Young Xander. Please bring with you a bottle of Chivas, nitrile gloves and a mop. Once the libations, lubricants and sloober start flowing, clean up is a necessity.

  Good Day.

  • Wow.

  • derp

  • Fake Gene Ross, I'm busy tracking how many bowel movements Fabian had yesterday (two, only one of them solid) as reported to me by the top three people in the business.

    Why does Xander need to bring a mop to clean up? Isn't that what yall have Katie for?

• Good for you Xander. Rob Black is a piece of shit!

• I doubt Rob can suck his own balls but his lawsuit-happy girlfriend might suck them for him.

  Glad to hear you are negative, Xander. However, I do suggest another test in two weeks to be on the safe side. After that (assuming you are negative then) make sure to get your dick sucked by a cute porn chick until she swallows every last drop of your cum.

• WOW. That makes "President" Rob Black now 0-for-2, since he whiffed so badly on Stagliano the last time.

  But hey, Monica Foster loves him, so why stop digging??