“You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.” Much like the TV show whose theme that line is a part of, Riley Steele’s appearance at Club Risqué started off good, became mediocre and ended poorly, at least for me. Sometimes, when you are sent on assignment, the stars align and everything goes smoothly. Other times, you have to suck it up and do what is asked of you, even if your heart isn’t in it.

Running late, I called the club to make sure I’d arrive before her final show. Good thing I did, because otherwise I’d have gone to the wrong Club Risqué location. Club Risqué is a chain of three strip clubs in the Philadelphia area. There is one in North East Philly, one on S.Columbus Ave in Philadelphia, and one in Bristol, PA, which is the closest to my house. I have been to this location many times, and always enjoyed myself. The crowd is laid back and friendly, never had a problem with the staff, and there are three pool tables to help pass the time. When I got there, the crowd was a little bit larger than normal, with a good energy to it. It filled in some more just before Riley took the stage.

Riley descended the spiral staircase, in the middle of the stage, looking smoking hot. She had on a vinyl sailor outfit, consisting of a tiny mini skirt and a tied top, and was carrying a riding crop. She strutted back and forth across the stage, before lying down in front of me, and revealing that she was going commando under the skirt! I totally wasn’t expecting that, as I’d never seen a dancer at this club take off her G-string. After 2 songs of her showing off that fine, waxed ass she has, she needed some audience participation, to put that riding crop to use.

None of the guys in attendance were interested in becoming part of the show, so an attractive woman from the crowd climbed over the bar to join in the fun. (Side note: the 2 Club Risque locations I have been to, Bristol and S Columbus Blvd, are both very “Couple Friendly”) The woman did a little shake and twirl around the pole, before presenting her tush for Riley to spank. After a few spankings, I chucked a couple bucks on stage and said, “Harder,” because I at least like to hear a little slap. The MC must have been thinking the same thing, because he put the microphone in my face, so I repeated, “HARDER!” This was met with a look and an eye roll, from Riley, which would be a sign of things to come.

After another song or two, and some grinding on the local dancers, Riley did a Q&A session, naked from the stage. The MC was going around, asking anyone if they had any questions, again with no volunteers at first. So his next move past me, I waved him over. “Which of the DP girls tastes the best,” I spoke into the mic. Another eye roll, then Riley responded, “Jesse…..wait, Kayden.” She went on to say that all the Digital Playground girls are great at eating pussy. There were a handful of other questions, which all seemed to meet the same eye roll and slump in posture that to me read, “I don’t want to be here.” All I was thinking is, “Why do a Q&A if everything the fans ask seems to annoy you so much?” The answer I came up with is that it filled the amount of time she was contracted to be on the stage. I felt disappointed that I paid to see a porn star milk a clock.

When she left the stage, Riley went to the table set up with 8×10’s and dvds. I went over to try to get a picture to put with this review. First off, there was no talking with Riley; you had to talk with some guy (I don’t know if he was a club employee or her handler) first. He started running me down a menu of photo options, which I really paid little attention to. I think the price quotes were $120 for a full nude, $80 topless, and $40 with the sailor outfit on. When I said that I was doing a review for TRPWL.com, and just wanted a pic of her to post with it, he got confrontational. “How do I know that’s true? You could be anyone saying that….” I told him that if he wanted, I could put him or Riley on the phone with the guy that runs the site, or they could Tweet him to verify I’m not making anything up. He gave me some more grief, and I said just ask her, which he did. She leaned over the table and screeched, “You aren’t in the industry.” I started to respond, “No, but…” when she cut me off. “Well, YOU aren’t in the industry so YOU gotta PAY…” at which point I turned and walked away. It has been many years since I learned not to bother arguing with a woman, in a bar, at almost 2 AM. With the lean and the slur and the screechiness, I knew the situation could only worsen. I got back to my seat, lit a smoke, and by the time I looked around for my beer, the bartender had a fresh one for me and was repeatedly apologizing for throwing my last one away, when I got up from the bar. At least there was one sweetheart in attendance.

Overall, it was a fun night, up until the end. I always have enjoyed Club Risque and Riley certainly did look good. If that is all I was there for, it would have been fine. The lack of a picture definitely neutered the review, and left a bad taste in my mouth. For that, I apologize to the readers. Maybe if I went to the early show on Thursday, it would have ended differently, I don’t know. All I know are the facts, and that is what I gave you, the good and the bad.*

Gimmick856