Just in time to ruin any of that post-holiday frisky cheer, TLC will debut its new show on Saturday, entitled “Sex Sent Me to the ER.” The documentary show will feature real-life stories of people who’ve been sent to the hospital as a result of injuries sustained during or immediately following sexual intercourse.

That’s right, the network that brought you Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Cake Boss is now going after the SpikeTV crowd with goofy PG-13 re-enactments of awkward sex scenes that resulted in bodily harm. Of the featured stories being teased so far, one includes that of 440-lb. virgin who sent his first lover to the emergency room after thrusting her head through a sheetrock wall. Here’s a preview of that, via: The New York Post chronicles five other examples the show will cover:

1. Rock singer and guitarist Cash O’Riley and his girlfriend Anne shared a night of passion. During his orgasm, Cash collapsed onto Anne, losing feeling in his left arm and leg. Turns out, Cash had a stroke mid-shag. 2. Dr. Kevin Klauer once treated a man who broke his penis during a threesome with his wife and mistress. When the two women began brawling at the hospital over who did the damage, Dr. Klauer got a bonus patient to treat. 3. Liz and Eric had a quickie before work one morning. But when Eric got up to leave, Liz was still having an orgasm. Pleasure turned to pain when it continued for two hours. 4. When Tsion and Brashaad snuck away for a jaunt in the janitor’s closet, the tight space resulted in injuries. 5. Dr. Jordan Moskoff treated a man for broken bones after he claimed he fell washing his windows. But the man was naked when he fell. When his wife showed up, she accused him of cheating.

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