Bill Clinton once said, “Those of us who know, know, and those who lie will get exposed on TRPWL.”

Typically, I leave agency bashing to the fine folks on the East Coast.  If it were up to me, TRPWL would be the go to source for the latest news on pubic hair. Which girls are growing it, and which girls should be shot in the face for shaving it off.  Bush is my expertise, but sometimes I have to deviate from the bush and make fun of retards.

There are 2 guys who I randomly text just to piss off, one is Nick East. When I’m bored, I’ll text Nick something like, “How’s your sister?  You know I fucked her right?”  Then I’d sit back and watch my iPhone light up with Nick East lawyer threats, threats of violence, and my favorite, I’m gonna blog about you.  Nick, you can’t sue everyone who’s banged your sister.

The second is Kevin Casali. He owns .0098568% of Glamour LTD.  My texts for him usually are something like “How’d that Twitter hacking work out for ya?”  He then bombards me with text after text about how I’m a hack and a loser.  Then as he winds down, I’ll call him a “meth head”, that sets him off into Nancy Reagan territory, “no means no, I mean I just say no.”

Once, on a dare, I texted both Kevin and Nick on the same day, and even though I have unlimited texts, Verizon shut me down, they said I was using all the text bandwidth and asked me to stop fucking Nick East’s hot sister.

Let me take you back in time, lets go back to Monday, which for anyone reading this tomorrow it would be 2 days ago, or if you read this on Friday it would be 4 days ago. You get were I’m going right? So anyway, I had just finished an episode of The West Wing and was thinking to myself, “How could anyone be a Democrat?” when all the sudden my phone rang. The person on the other end said, “Crack Head Kevin hacked into Bella Reese’s Twitter.” I’m like NO WAY in a sarcastic tone. As Kevin has been accused of this 100’s of times. I begin to explain to my friend all the ways to fix this. Every time Bella would change the password, Kevin would change it. When they would change the phone number, Kevin would change it back. This was going on for a while until Bella contacted Twitter. Kevin also got into Bella’s Gmail account and locked her out of that. It was quickly reversed, with minimal to no damage done. Tragedy averted, but I was bored and fired off a text.

Kevin claims he didn’t hack anything, acted as thought he had no clue what I was talking about. Note the number these texts came from. Now look at the screencaps below. See the Twitter add on number?

Not only that, Kevin is in Vegas, and at the time, Bella was in LA. Sign in from Vegas and Kevin’s number is in the Twitter account. Probably just a coincidence. 

Kevin, I have a question for you. If you sold Lola Luscious 40% of Glamour (yet “stole” it back from her without paying her back) , and porn mope Archer owns 40%, Ron Ellis owns 9% and a few others have a percentage, what does that leave you? Unlike Man Bear Pig where the math makes perfect sense, your money grabbing common core math is suspect at best.

Sean, why did you put Bobby Boucher in your title, how can you tie this to The Water Boy?

Kevin went full retard, reached back into his impressive insult bag, and dropped “Needle Dick”on me. This is doubly funny at the moment as my 7 year old called his little brother that after watching the Waterboy.  So next time I want to trade insults with WESTCOASTKEV, I’ll give the phone to my son. And no Nick, he’s too young to bang your sister.