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• This is another blockbuster blog entry by April Garris -- non-sensationalist, well-sourced, and honest (everything, sadly , that Shelley Lubben is not).

  It serves to demonstrate that our worst suspicions about Lubben, going back to 2009 or earlier, were all true.

  April Garris is a fine woman who was another of Shelley Lubben's victims. She came on board because she genuinely wanted to help people, and she gave up so much in exchange for the opportunity to work with Pink Cross, only to be chewed up and spat out like bubble gum. When she came forward with the truth about the Lubbens, the Lubben Jonestown crew and attacked her too.

  Although April is a devout anti-porm Christian, she and I agree on this primary point (among many others): the truth is the most powerful weapon.

• Lubben loses another one (from her Facebook wall, May 2, 2012):

  "Shelley, I've read the 2 part blog of April Garris and I am fully convinced that she's saying the truth. Your church independent, self serving and demon obsessed Pink Cross "ministry" (your dollar milking cow) is doing more harm than good for the cause of Christ. I am unfriending u."

  http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3954288745794&set=a.1734551213743.98548.1537467760

• When I first "retired" out of the sex industry in 1984 - I needed support. I was on probation and didn't want to risk violating that probation. But my attorney had advised me that under the conspiracy laws - if a prostitute even said on the stand that I had given her a phone number - that was it - just gave her a phone number - then I'd go to jail for felony pimping and pandering. But these women "outside" of the business made me sick because to me they were hooking - but just didn't view it as hooking. When you're withholding sex until your boyfriend or husband gives you money or pays a bill or buys you something - then I'm sorry but that's prostitution to me. But boy would they look down their noise at me and call me a prostitute!

  I missed being able to talk to other women from the sex industry - so I joined a group that doesn't exist anymore called Catharsis. It was run by a woman named Norma. Now Norma hated her husband - but stayed with him because he paid the bills and they had a house south of the Boulevard. Prostitute.

  When I'd go to these meetings - I was seeing either them still prostituting in one form or another - or they would be acting out in ways like alcoholism, sex addiction, drug use, etc. That scared me. I didn't want to be out of sex work and then become a drug addict or alcoholic.

  I liked what I saw going on at the 12 step meetings. I saw people taking control of their lives, as well as responsibility. I saw them growing, becoming self-supporting, and caring about other people as well as taking care of themselves. I'm not saying everyone should be in a 12 step group nor am I putting anyone down. I'm just saying that when I'd look around at those who had managed to quit the sex industry - the people who had lives I admired were in recovery.

  When I was going to the AA meetings - I heard the phrase "dry drunk". This is someone who is no longer drinking - but they act just the same. I'd see this at the Alano Clubs especially. They'd be "sober" but they would sit there and drink their coffee and talk shit all day no different than the people who lived on bar stools. To me - what's the point? If you're going to drink - drink. If not - don't. I didn't get having the consequences of drinking without the pleasure.

  I also noticed some of the women in Catharsis were the same - like Norma. They were acting no different than a "working girl" without the risk. I mean when I see Annie Lombert dressed up with her bleached hair and heavy make-up and heels and prancing around the streets of Las Vegas running up to strangers to "talk to them" - is this really any different than when she was street walking? Yeah when she was street walking - she'd go bang a guy and come out a few minutes later with some cash. What Annie does is she drags these hookers to church - and hen she gets donations from using the same hustle she used when she was tricking. I"m sorry - but I don't see a difference other than she's getting her money from "donors".

  So I decided that for those of us who wanted to quit - we should have a better "quality of life" I felt. I also wanted to see men and women stop going to jail for prostitution - so I formed a 12 step group. I went to the courts and asked if they could come to our meetings instead of jail - and they said "yes". So the first alternative sentencing program for prostitutes was invented also when we formed "Prostitutes Anonymous".

  You have to understand that HIV was raging in 1987. It was fast shifting from the gay community to the heterosexual one. They also made it a felony for attempted murder if you knew you had HIV and you continued to engage in sex work. So I was seeing sex workers be in business one day - and then "out of work" the next once they got an HIV positive test result.

  Then what? The law was saying one had to stop all sex work immediately. But what about the rent, utilities, food, car payment, etc.? I went to the then Mayor Bradley and Sheriff Block and asked if we could put a committee together to help. They agreed and we created a lot of programs. We found an apartment building that was willing to offer them free housing if they were diagnosed as positive. We got "Meals on Wheels" to bring them food once they found out they were positive - even if they weren't bedridden. We had doctors donate them free medical care.

  We then found that sex workers were reluctant to go to many of the testing sites, especially the porn actors, because people in the waiting room, and even staff, would point and stare and giggle or make cracks. So we felt to encourage sex workers to come forward - we had to make a "safe place" for them to get testing - and to hear the bad news if they were positive. You have to remember that back then - if you were a woman and you got told you were positive - you were dead in a year or less. This was horrible back then - truly horrible. Men didn't leave past 10 years total in the best of cases. So we created testing sites with comfortable waiting rooms, and rooms where we could sit and talk once they were told they were positive, and we could offer them special assistance immediately if they were found positive.

  So they could have other people to talk to who "understood" - we referred them to "Prostitutes Anonymous". This helped them go through the transition - having other sex workers and ex-sex workers to talk to. Since sex work is illegal in most cases - we were also able to come forward to get testing, education, clean needles, services, products, referrals, etc. without fear of being arrested.

  Now keep in mind that one of the things we learned to address in our program is "dry drunk" for sex workers.

  I've answered our hotline since 1987. We've taken over 500,000 phone calls - while Polaris has only answered 70,000 that I saw on their site about a month ago. I keep anyone who calls us confidential and what they say is confidential - if they're a member of our program.

  I got to tell you though - I got a very disturbing call from a very scared woman about a month ago. She told me she only came forward to us once she saw that Shelley Lubben was "not" on our site or our "friend". I asked why. She told me "she has spies every where". Then she invited me to come look at some of Shelley's sites.

  To me, if you're putting up an image of a bound,gagged woman being beaten - and then you're asking for money and receiving money - that's selling porn in my book. Because you're making money off images of a woman in a sexual context - period.

  I'm aware of this because I have to explain to our members what "denial" is for our members. If a woman tells me she's putting up naked images of herself online and then selling them - then she's not got "time" in our program.

  Then I'm noticing that Shelley is pointing people to "go look" at active porn sites where there's images of naked women. After she instructs you to "go look at the horrible things on this site" - she then asks you for money. Again, I don't see where the lines is here. If I sent you to go look at naked pictures - and I then get money from you - then I"m selling porn. Period.

  This woman then starts crying hysterically. She tells me that Shelley has her on skype talking to men for hours a day describing in horribly graphic detail about being raped, beaten, tortured, and sexual situations - and then asking for "donations". I don't see the difference here in this - then the webcam porn company does. Now is this true? I don't know since Shelley won't answer my calls or emails. Maybe it's a lie. Because now we're crossing the line from porn - into pimping. Because if I bring someone into my home and I put them onto skype and I get them speak in a graphic details about being raped, beaten, tortured, screwed, etc. and then you collect money and then you give me that money - isn't that pimping?

  I then watched how Shelley directed people to "go look how awful" it was that one young lady was going porn to put herself through college. She then put up a link to this woman's page. Now I know that as people went to her porn site - she is getting money "per click" and also donations - and this other woman is generating money from their traffic - and then the men who go to that site are buying her pictures and DVD's and downloads - then again isn't Shelley now pimping this girl? I mean if she's leading traffic to the womans' site - that's marketing. It's a site with XXX pictures. That's porn marketing.

  Now maybe she's not aware of this - so I have written Shelley informing her of what she's doing. I then see her posting horrible images of Christy Mack's beating and asking for money.

  I remember watching a Howard Stern show where it took us to a trade show for the men who were into "My Little Pony" porn. To some men - they get off on the ponies. They aren't naked women - but they get off on it. If I know you get off on the ponies and I come to you with a "My Little Pony" picture and sell that to you - I"m sorry but I'm not selling "My LIttle Pony" then - I'm selling porn then.

  Porn is not about naked women if "My Little Pony" can get a guy off. It's about getting someone off - that's porn. Getting paid for it - is prostitution. Getting someone else to do it and having them pay me - is pimping. Bottom line.

  I saw a study by the booksellers association of some kind - they're calling it "trafficking porn". If there's "My LIttle Pony" porn - then there's trafficking porn. They get off on hearing about women being beaten, abused, trafficked, held captive, etc. If I show you that and I take money for this - then I'm prostituting or pimping depending on who is in the pictures.

  This woman told me she "felt" no different "raising money" for the "cause" at Shelley's then she did in porn - which is why I told her it's still prostitution. If you're going to be in porn - then be in porn. You can raise money to help trafficking victims - without showing images that are no different than being in porn.

  It's called "denial". It's called running around telling people "oh I'm not a prostitute anymore" in your head - but not in reality. It's a way of living with yourself when you feel guilty about what you're doing. It's no different than the alcoholic who takes "Ny-Quil" by the gallon at night to "help him sleep". It's still alcohol.

  I think that's what's everyone is upset about here from what I can see. I see her made up like a cheap hooker, hanging out at clubs where Ron Jeremy is signing her boobs, and I see her "hanging out with the crowd" like she's still in the biz, and then asking for money.

  For what might I ask? I see her raising money and giving these women some cash. That is not helping them find another career. I see no training in Shelley to address the issues that went into someone getting into the industry in the first place. I don't see her teaching them anything but running around asking people to give them money. Again - what's the diff here?

  In our program, we address what got them into the sex industry in the first place. Whatever those issues are - we resolve them. Do they have health issues? Do they need job training? Do they need help with child care or domestic violence counseling? We teach them job interview skills, help them write a resume, figure out what career or business they're going to get into, get them health insurance if they don't have any, etc. Paying their rent for them - is not teaching them how to pay their rent themselves. Putting them up in a "safe house" where they live rent free is not teaching them how to be "fully self supporting" like our 7th tradition states either. We have a 12 step process to clear away a lot of the past garbage, learn who they are, find out where they want to be going in life, and then support them to head towards those goals. We do not "tell" them what God is - we help them find the spirituality they believe in and they want to explore - if any. They want to be atheist - then that's fine too . Because it's not about us telling them what we want them to be - it's about us helping them find who they are. Because isn't that what a pimp does? Dress as I tell you to dress, think as I tell you to think, live where I tell you to live, have friends who I tell you to have friends - that's not recovery - that's pimping them. Parading them around to people saying "feel sorry for them and give me money" is not a "program" - it's "pimping" pure and simple.

  I'm not saying this to "attack" Shelley. I'm saying what I see. Shelley - you are on a dry drunk and you've graduated from prostitution to pimping as any addiction can escalate. You've admitted on your social media that you just recently "flushed the drugs" so clearly you've substituted one addiction for another - only instead of helping people - you're actually pimping them further down the road.

  I abhor traffickers. To me that's someone who is forcing someone against their will to engage in sex work - and then taking their money away from them. Shelley - I consider what you're doing no different than a pimp. You stalk these women until you see one you think is vulnerable. You don't help them quit - you turn them into another poster child you parade around and make money off their story.

  Get a job.

  Wake up. How many more prostitutes have to come online crying how you've hurt them, exploited them, used them, etc. before you see what you're doing?

  I have more than one person online who talks about how I'm a "bitch" and I have a temper. However, I have not found one quote anywhere from a member of the program I run stating that I've stalked them, deceived them into thinking I'm going to do something I don't then do for them, then after the donations aren't coming in anymore and I have no more use for them - cast them aside and look for the next victim. In fact, I haven't found one single bad word about me coming out of the mouths of any of our members.

  So far the only people online bitching about me are you and your "followers". I have had people call me who tell me that you actually sit there and tell them that because I have been married twice and therefore changed my name twice - that I'm "up to something shady because I'm living under different names". Shelley just because I've been in this work long enough to have survived two marriage and my name's changed twice - doesn't mean I'm up to anything "shady". In fact, I don't solicit donations. I don't even pass a basket at our meetings. I give away our Recovery Guide.

  Why? Because it doesn't cost me anything to pick up a phone and call someone in the sex industry and say to them "hey are you okay - do you need anything"? I don't have to hold a fund raiser to do that.

  Which is why I guarantee you Shelley that you will see that I tweeted Christy Mack and asked her if she was okay, and did she need anything, and called her hospital to see if she needed a safe place to go so War Machine didn't come back to the house in case he wasn't arrested before she was released - and you will see her thank me for my concern.

  While you were setting up a fund raiser for her instead.

  Shelley - you need an intervention before you harm more people. I have blown my temper at people who have deserved it. But I have never harmed another prostitute by pimping them since I entered recovery. Is I was going to pimp someone - I'd just go do it and not play all these mental games you're playing to try and turn yourself into something you're not.

  You need a meeting. We're having another phone meeting actually on Friday. You might want to think about coming to a meeting. When you have whole websites, and facebooks devoted to telling you the same thing - maybe you ought to be listening.

• Shelley posted on her own twitter page about "flushing the drugs" just last year I think it was. I watched a video of her speaking at some college where she was clearly drunk and really embarrassing. The attacks are real. When these women have "defected" from Shelley's camp - I get calls of apology for the attacks that they say Shelley made them do. Now one or two could have been attacks on Shelley. But I've received five calls now from different women telling me the same story - they were put up to stalking and attacking me by her . I have an email I got yesterday from some woman attacking me. Why? Who knows because they make no sense. Example - I've been married two times. When I was arrested the DA put my case under a fake name because of the death threats and they were trying to convince me to go into witness protection (i.e., snitch and they'd protect me). I wouldn't take the protection - but there was still the time period when my legal case was under a false name to protect my life physically. So I've had three different names in my life I've gone by. Does that mean anything "sinister"? Nope. I have my married names and my maiden name - nothing sinister about the name changes. Yet these people call me up and laugh about my different names into the phone like they have some dirt on me and I have no idea what they're talking about. It's not a crime to change your name when you get married, and back again after the divorce. You'd think they have better things to do than sit around and talk about my name! But these women when they leave Shelley's fear influence - they tell me they do this for a reason. When the women would see the way I was stalked and attacked - it serves as a threat to them about how they feel they'd be targeted and attacked if they left. So it's not really about me - it's about inducing fear in these women so they'll be afraid to leave. Which they are often stalked and attacked after leaving her - it's not a wild fear. Look - don't pornographers take images of women that they then sell for money? I look on Shelley's site - and what do I see? Images of half naked women being bound, beaten and gagged and then asked for money. I frankly don't see any difference between what she's doing and what they claim pornographers and pimps are doing. They say the traffickers don't have the womens' consent. I don't see Shelley getting any consent from the women she's pimping on her sites!