A convicted sex offender has now been accused of having sex with a MATTRESS outside an old people’s home.
That’s one sexy box spring
The Derry Magistrate’s Court was told that 52-year-old Martin Gregory Coll was found naked from the waist down and watching a porn film on a portable DVD player – and was having simulated sex with the mattress.
He was arrested and charged with committing indecent behaviour and committing an act of lewd, obscene and disgusting nature and of outraging public decency by watching pornography in a public place and with having simulated sex with a mattress while naked.
Coll, who was found carrying out his alleged deeds in the Lavery Fold Old People’s Home car park in Derry, Northern Ireland, was spotted by police heading into the car park in the early hours of the morning.
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Never mind legalizing sex work…..this is exactly why they should also decriminalize adult theatres and offer private spaces for pervs like him to relieve their…ahhhh, tensions.
Plus…never heard of having sex *with* matresses…I always thought that you had sex *on* them. Strange fetish that is…..or, is it the meth doing its magic once again?