TRPWL is a historic and storied news site whose award offerings are rivaled by no one. While news outlets like AVN give you awards with made up words like ‘Polyamory’, we wont. After all, if you don’t use the King’s English properly, you lose all credibility.

The TRPWL awards were held yesterday, in an undisclosed location, with absolutely no coverage.

And even though it wasn’t public, more people showed up than have shown up for the last 3 Inked Awards combined.

So without further ado, Behold the greatness that is the TRPWL awards.

Most likely to retire, unretire, and retire all in the same day: Dakota Skye

Most likely to call 911 on you for smoking pot: Holly Hendrix

Most likely to kill a puppy and a baby seal: Bruno Dickemz

Most likely to get you killed on an escort job: Trinity St Claire

Biggest content trade thief: Chris Strokes

Serenity Haze Racist Award: Paisley Pepper

I’m nobody but think I’m somebody: Dave Dixon

Wife beater model of the year: Erika Icon

Willis Jackson award of excellence: Melissa Hill

Most likely to kill Todd Bridges: Melissa Hill

Lizard caretaker of the year: Hannah Hays

Peter Romero suitcase pimp of the year: Roy Garcia

The whomever you’re trying to book isn’t available but my girlfriend is award: Jonathan Morgan

Model House operator of the year: Tracy Demarcus

The Christopher Tucker Fanboy Award:  Kelvin

I’m missing 4 forks award: Roxie Rae

Bolivian nasal dust award: James Bartholet

Shelly Lubben blew up my house award: Shelly Lubben

The Unlucky Starr award: Germy Steele

Worship me even though I steal your money to make my content award: Greg Lansky

Axel Braun Total Piece Of Shit Award: Jessica Drake

The fire almost burned up my drug stash: Barrett Blade

All winners will receive an autographed TRPWL tee shirt.

Autographed by whom you ask?  Phinehas Johnson…..