Last week I wrote an in-depth investigatory masterpiece about the plight of one Michael Whiteacre. This was no ordinary story. It was a story of passion, betrayal, and love lost — the story of man wrongly accused of many things, a man some say is more dangerous than HIV..

To recap, basically it was reported on a lesser site that the honorable Mr. Whiteacre was served with a TRO on Aug 26th. A TRO that hadn’t even been filed yet.

Of course as we all know that report was erroneous on all counts, or as Canadians call it “an untruth” (say it with me, “an untruth”). I like to call it a lie, but I’m from Texas and am normally too busy to use big words.

The blogs continued to harass Mr Whiteacre, telling anyone who would listen that Mr Whiteacre was in violation of the TRO. And soon they would see to it Mr Whiteacre was locked up, possibly placed on death-row, where he would live his final days watching Love Boat reruns and learning to knit..

So today, while counting my FSC hush money and looking at nudes of Mark Spiegler, the red phone rang. That’s the TRPWL bullshit hotline…It only rings when bloggers are lying and TRPWL has to print the truth. Lately it’s been ringing a lot but I’ve not been answering out of fear it was a telemarketer.

The call was strange to say the least, The person on the other end said check your email, I replied with, “but why male models?” That’s code for “ok.”

This is what was sent to me from a secretemailaccount@gmail.com:

First, at TRPWL we don’t reveal HIV patients’ real names, unless they lied about having HIV and have jumped on the AHF money train …

These documents seem to be missing from the posts of other bloggers who continually harass and report on Mr. Whiteacre. These top secret documents basically say that any lying piece of shit can FILE for a TRO, but to have it take effect it MUST be served, and such service must done within 5 days of the hearing…

I reached out to Mr.Whiteacre at his top secret hiding place, the Luxor, where he’s checked in under his real name so as to avoid being found and served. I asked him how he was holding up after being on the run for so long. He replied with “Make sure you send me my half of the FSC payoff money, and don’t tell Page I’m betting on Japanese ping-pong again!” Wow, Strong words for a man on the run…

In conclusion, I’d like to say;

Anyone who thinks Whiteacre has been served with a TRO is a fucking idiot.