Simon Rex: Young, Hard And Solo II; Young, Hard and Solo III; Hot Sessions III; Hot Sessions XIII; and Hot Sessions XIIII
Simon Rex is an entertainment Swiss army knife, a real jack-of-all-trades. He’s a comedian, television host, music producer, recording artist, and probably best known for being a VJ on MTV. Speaking of VJ, there is none to be found in any Simon Rex’s self-pleasure films.
Rex might be the only person on this list who, despite graduating to real acting work, continued to exercise his talents in the adult film industry. We suppose when one finds oneself in that fleeting apex of Hollywood’s spotlight, it’s hard not to literally work hand over fist in order to really achieve that once in a lifetime moneyshot… er, shot at money.
Scott Schwartz: Scotty’s X-Rated Adventure, The Devil in Miss Jones 6
If your innocence is a salad, prepare to have it tossed…Scotty Schwartz played Flick in A Christmas Story, the kid who burned himself into our young, supple brains when he got his tongue stuck to the flagpole. It turned out to be a fateful premonition, considering his future would be riddled with adult movies. Although he mainly stuck in the “background” and “production” side of things, he did star as himself in Scotty’s X-Rated Adventure.
Playing a frumpy, gullible actor who’s tired of getting typecast, Scotty decides to employ the likes of Juli Ashton (a porn star, duh) to fix this problem. Because this takes place in the porn universe, she makes him come to an orgy before she lends him a hand, and things just sort of go form there. Anyway, this winter, when A Christmas Story is playing 24/7, feel free to inform your family that, that kid with his tongue stuck to a pole now does hardcore porn, and watch as their 7-year-old selves curl into a ball and attempt to suffocate themselves with tears and confusion.
Jaimee Foxworth: A Whole Heap Of Different Pornos
Jaimee Foxworth is best known for playing Judy Winslow in Family Matters. However, that scene-stealing bastard Urkel became the more famous character in the series, and young Jaimee was written off the show by “going upstairs to get something,” then never coming back down again, ever. Foxworth followed a clichéd child actor’s path, turning to drugs and ultimately disappearing… only to reappear as “Crave” in an abundance of adult films spanning from 2000-2002.
Though she has appeared on Oprah saying her stint in porn was the worst decision of her life, and has since straightened herself out, she appeared three years later in the 2009 porn parody of The Jeffersons. Though she didn’t technically have sex with anyone in The Jeffersons: A XXX Porn Parody, we’re anticipating dreading what might happen if she returns from upstairs in a potential Family Matters porn parody.
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