As a fan of hot chicks and protector of decent looking chicks it is with sadness and fear that I report Tucker “can I buy you a drink” Slain is back. If you have wondered why all sex crimes are down by 89% over the last 3 months here’s why:
It seems Roofie took his talents to foreign soil .. Not to protect the world from himself. No , some say to perfect his drugging technique .. Working on the 3 point drug shot. That’s where he actually throws the roofie into a chicks drink from 30 feet away. Then like a serpent he waits until they cant see straight and moves in for the kill.
I was skeptical of the roofmiesters claims of government service after he disappeared from twitter for 3 months. There’s not a base that I know of that doesn’t have internet much less outlaws phones. I live in a city that at one point had 5 bases. Everyone is online at some point.
IN my humble opinion the pharmaceutical genius that is Tucker was somewere that didn’t have net or allowed phones that weren’t snuck in up your ass. That would explain why Sgt. Rapiest is online looking for work:
Of course I could be wrong. But I think the military frowns on active duty guys shooting porn. A few years ago a hot air force chick was run out of town for shooting for one of the big mags.
But then maybe “heres a roofie for your headache slain” is on top secret orders and his headed to Vegas to assassinate a high ranking hotel owner or a Christian pornstar.
What ever is going on doesn’t matter. What does matter is somewhere some poor chick will wake up tomorrow morning reaking of hillbilly juice and a freshly signed release laying next to her with a note saying ” Surprise , you’ve just been roofied”. Hopefully he will have adhered to the condom mandate even tho it doesn’t apply to sex crimes