So I had this other post planned today, it was gonna be a mind boggling ground breaking opus of epic proportions. Instead, I got side tracked by a crackhead.
The other day, I dazzled some of your minds when I wrote about a porn chick who claimed to be a 9/11 vet. Only issue with that is she was 11 when 9/11 happened. The girl, Astrid Star is an absolute moron. She retweeted it several times before actually reading it. The title alone should of been the clue, but she’s stupid
Meet the 31 year old pornstar with top security clearance, and 9/11 Vet #AstridStar
See how I put your age in there Astrid, then said you were a 9/11 vet? I basically am saying you’re a fucking liar.
Flash forward to this morning, when 9/11 vet Col Major Captain Astrid finally read the post, undid her likes, and began DMing me. When I say this is great stuff, I’m not Astriding about it. Yes XBIZ, I turned her name into a verb, that’s real journalism.
It started off ok:
Pretty sure this idiot is the only porn person with “top secret clearance’ lol.
Now, Astrid, says she doesn’t do drugs because she has epilepsy:
Interesting, her issue is she’s stupid, I never said she wasn’t in the navy, I only questioned her dates. In fact, here is a quote from my OP:
“She may very well be ex-navy, she’s claiming to be in the navy currently, which would frown on her doing porn.”
Online, she claims to be “active military,” a 10 year vet, an 8 year vet, and on LinkedIn, a 4 year vet:
Maybe the lawyer she hired to sue me can weed thru all her lies. So lets continue:
At this point here, I was gonna remove the post. I figured you know, they made up, she apologized for the things she said which takes a bigger person ,that’s not normally porn behavior. I had to run out to Academy Sporting Goods, so I didn’t get right back to her. When I got back, she took the conversation in a whole other direction.
I have roughly 10,800 followers Astrid, from TLG, MLP, out of that, there are probably 30 performers that at AEE have tried to hook up with me. I’m happy to report that I’ve turned them all down. See, I’m not XBIZ, I don’t shit where I eat…
If I walked into my hotel room and Harley Deen, Olive Glass, Aaliyah Love and Keisha Grey were naked on my bed, holding signs that said “We love you TRPWL”, I wouldn’t do anything, outside of taking a picture for my OnlyFans, I’m in the top 1% after all. Then I’d walk out of the room and tell Bosco to send out a PR about me turning down Coitus with hot chicks. People would be in awe of me, I’d probably hit up the talk show circuit, maybe write a book about it, a fling with a Kardashian, then some pictures of me and Alexandra hiking would surface destroying mine and Kourtney’s relationship. I’d spiral out of control, still not banging porn chicks mind you, I’d probably develop an addiction to pre-workouts, I’d be so out of it. I’d start campaigning for Biden, burning down Target and vacationing in Canada. Then by the grace of Spiegler, Bosco and The Minion would do an intervention.
Then later down the line, a Lifetime movie, where I play myself and Steven Seagal would play Bosco. Terrorists take over AVN, and we would have to kill them all like in Die Hard, still not banging any porn chicks, we would water board Community Ambassador Colin Rowntree until he gave up where the Brothers Helmy were holding Peter Warren hostage. And you know how that ends. Bosco gives his life, like Chef during the hippie fest, and I save the day. All the while not banging porn chicks.
I’ve made it a point to never cross that line. When I go down, it will be a political joke about some dude trying to play girls basketball, or CX3’s penchant for oversized women, not something sexual.
Apparently she still had more to say to my old perverted ass:
I make a Clue joke, and an Epstein didn’t kill himself reference and she doesn’t flinch. That’s how you know you’re dealing with a sociopath/James Bartholet client, clearly a poor sense of humor.
To be honest, I didn’t want this to end, I wanted more, Like Billy Boston at a 19 man gangbang, I was having the time of my life.
Unfortunately, someone must have told her to shut the fuck up.
To recap, Astrid Star lied about being a 9/11 Vet, and was a total bitch to Tana Waters, a girl I allegedly wanna fuck, when I’m not on Epstein’s island with Bill Clinton, and in a few days, Astrid is going to own the site, all my money, and stock holdings, and possible, my fridge full of Gatorade Zero. Lets just hope the Judge doesn’t award her my fantasy baseball teams, I’m defending champion ion 2, and she’s too stupid to win them on her own.