In the wake of The NBA’s lifetime ban of Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling for racially insensitive comments brought to light by his former girlfriend, the owner of America’s most famous legal brothel has followed suit. Dennis Hof, owner of The Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nevada and star of HBO’s “Cathouse” series, said Tuesday that Sterling was joining a dubious group of ostracized public personalities including NFL quarterback Michael Vick and “Duck Dynasty” star Phil Robertson who have been told that they are persona non grata with any of Hof’s courtesans.
Additionally, Hof announced that in anticipation of Sterling being forced to sell his franchise, he has taken the beginning steps to form a prospective ownership group with his prostitutes and brothel clients to purchase the team. “Teams like The Green Bay Packers have had great luck in allowing their fans to participate in ownership” said Hof. “I think the notion of an embattled team like The Clippers being rescued from the clutches of a hateful racist by a multi ethnic collection of successful business women is just what The NBA needs to improve the tarnished image of the franchise”.
Where V. Stiviano, the whistle blowing former girlfriend of Sterling is concerned, Hof has an even more interesting offer. “Ms. Stiviano was brave enough to stand up for what she knew to be right in spite of the financial repercussions to her, and any business partnership would benefit from such a selfless display of ethics. I would like to offer her a position with our ownership group as vice president of player relations. This team has been ripped apart, and having the woman who righteously pled the case for racially equality to this old Jim Crow throwback would be the perfect choice to mend the fences with those men on the court.”
Hof’s one hesitation in making a bid centers around his friendship with the Buss family, who own The L.A. Lakers. “Johnny Buss has been a dear friend for years. I hate to go into competition with his family, but a friendly cross town rivalry might be just what Los Angeles needs.”