Firefighters came to the rescue of a man in distress when he got his penis stuck in a toaster.
It is unclear exactly what the humiliated gentleman had been up to, but fortunately London’s finest arrived to extricate his manhood from the electrical device.
Unbelievably, another adventurer rivalled his ridiculous antics by somehow getting his member lodged in a vacuum cleaner.
And the ultra-professional London Fire Brigade staff have had to free 79 people from handcuffs in the last three years alone.
These embarrassing incidents are just some of 1,300 involving people being trapped or stuck which have been attended by London Fire Brigade since 2010.
Each rescue mission costs at least £290 to deal with, meaning they have set the taxpayer back at least £377,000 in total.
Third Officer, Dave Brown, said: “Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out could be prevented with a little common sense.
“I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up.
“I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them.
“I’d like to remind everyone 999 is an emergency number and should only be used as such.
“When firefighters are out attending to some of these avoidable incidents, someone else could be in real need of emergency assistance.”
In the last three years the capital’s fire crews have been called out to:
• 18 incidents involving children with their heads stuck in potties or toilet seats
• Five incidents involving people’s hands being stuck in shredders
• 79 incidents involving people being trapped in handcuffs
• Nine instances of men with rings stuck on their penises
• Four incidents where people had their hands stuck in blenders
• 17 incidents involving children with their fingers stuck in toys, including one with Lego stuck on his finger.
In the past, the LFB has been called out to:
• A man with his penis stuck in a toaster
• A man with his arm stuck in a Portaloo
• A child with its hand trapped in a sweet machine
• A child with its head trapped in an ironing board
• An adult stuck in a child’s toy car
• A child with its head stuck in a massage chair
• A child with its foot stuck in a brass vase
• Someone with a test tube stuck on their finger
• A child with a tambourine stuck on its head
• A man with a sewing machine needle stuck in his finger.
In 2010/11 crews attended 416 incidents, rising to 441 in 2011/12 and 453 in 2012/13. A total of 307 people were injured as a result.
Crews are called to more than one incident every day involving someone trapped or stuck with the most common being people with rings stuck on their fingers, accounting for almost 500 call outs over the last three years.
On the subject of rings a brigade spokesperson added: “Our advice is simple: if the ring doesn’t fit, don’t force it on.
“As well as being painful, you could end up wasting emergency service time if you have to call us out.”
This has been a TRPWL public safety announcement