Hugo Schwyzer Comes Clean on Suicide, Cheating, and Being ‘A First-Rate Fraud’ The TRPWL Interview

Hugo Schwyzer Comes Clean on Suicide, Cheating, and Being ‘A First-Rate Fraud’ The TRPWL Interview

Hugo Schwyzer and Michael Whiteacre have been in frequent contact since the details of Professor Schwyzer’s sexting fling with a 27-year old were revealed on this site. Schwyzer, who recently announced he would no longer teach his Pasadena Community College class called Navigating Pornography, offered to clear the air.

“Any chance of redemption I have,” he told Whiteacre, “comes through total honesty.”

Schwyzer promised brutal candor, and no subject was off limits — “No bullshit, no playing for the crowd,” he said. Here he is, talking female anger, mental illness, sex appeal, notoriety, infidelity . . . and whether he will ever write again.

Hugo

This interview was conducted via email on August 4, 2013.

Hugo, how are you feeling now, and what’s the status of the psychological rehab that you announced you’d be undertaking?

I have been 5150’d twice in two weeks. I have a long history of depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, and suicidal impulses. I needed to be hospitalized for my own safety. I’m now seeing a psychiatrist and on a lot of meds. I still feel shaky but I don’t want to harm myself.

Your interview with Kat Stoeffel for The Cut has been criticized as self-pitying, and one statement in particular has caused a great deal of controversy:

“If you look at the men who are writing about feminism, they toe the line very carefully. It’s almost like they take their cues from the women around them. Men are afraid of women’s anger. It’s very hard for men to stand up to women’s anger.”

You’re someone who’s been both attacked and lauded for having friends across a wide spectrum of feminism, from the sex positive crowd to the likes of Meghan Murphy. Do you see how a man with your background – both in terms of your personal history and the tone/tenor of your writings – would be susceptible to claims that he was passing blame to female feminists?

Sure, I’ve been guilty of blaming female feminists for the harshest attacks on me. In the Stoeffel interview (for which, to be fair, I was high as a kite), I phrased the basic idea badly. Men need to do a better job of standing up to women’s anger. That is my point.

You’ve referred to yourself “one of the most universally despised figures out there.” Many suspected there was more than a hint of pride, or perverse pleasure in statements like that. Do you think that, on some level, you reveled in the hatred and controversy?

Well, I think there’s some truth in this! But I also enjoyed the notoriety in a rather self-abusive way.

You’ve stated your motivation for backing away from public life, but what precipitated your public admission about inappropriate extramarital contact with multiple women?

It was going to come out sooner or later. Why not get in front of it? Look, I’ve broken my marriage vows and been a first-rate fraud. I name that. And it’s one reason I need to step back from public life. Almost everyone is happy I’m gone.

What led to your suicide attempt by overdose of klonopin on August 1st — what was going through your mind? Many people have speculated that the attempt was an example of attention seeking behavior. Looking back, do you think you were actually trying to end your life?

I wanted help. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I have a real suicide plan for when the time comes. I’m gonna get dressed warmly, go down to the beach, take all my pills and wash them down with vodka, and start swimming. The clothes will weigh me down and the drugs and booze will keep me from swimming. I’ll drown. Taking 50 klonopin just got me into a safe hospital.

You’ve now told the world, “I’m a fraud.” In light of the heat you’ve taken over stating that having an extramarital affair was “off-brand,” were you ever the reformed individual you claimed to be? How much of the public persona of the redeemed man, ‘Hugo Schwyzer, male feminist’ was legitimate, and to what extent was it ‘branding’?

Do I believe intellectually in the equality of women? Wholeheartedly. Do I want to end rape? Damn straight. The “off-brand” was that I also claimed to be a one-woman man. Monogamy is not a prerequisite for feminism. I think honesty is. Off-brand to have multiple affairs and sexts.

Looking back at it, can you say that you used your ‘position’ as a prominent figure in the feminist blogosphere to entice or curry favor with women? Was this part of a continuum that includes the abuse of your position as professor to have relationships with your students, years ago – or was it something else?

How do you distinguish it? I really BELIEVE in what I’m doing. I teach Men and Masculinity to mostly men, for God’s sake. But here’s what I do know – I’m an average looking middle-aged bloke who gets a lot sexier when I teach or perform. That’s something of which I’m aware but it’s not the reason I teach.

Now, when I was a young professor, you bet I used it. 20 plus years ago, for sure.

When did your marital infidelities start, how many have there been, and who initiated them?

I’ve had three that were consummated as well as several other sexts. They started late last fall. Two of the three were initiated by other women, one by me. Imperative to note none were my students.

Speculation has already begun as to the identity of the other women. In your interview with The Cut you indicated that one affair “was with someone in the same circles that you and I move in, so I have to protect her.” Do you honestly believe you can “protect her” or the others? [Sources have already provided the identity of one of the women – Ed.] Do you feel it is your duty to do so?

I will do my best. I regret making that remark to Stoeffel. I know people will speculate but I’ve been foolish enough. This person deserves anonymity.

Poolside

Christina Parreira is someone who’s familiar to readers of this site. You two never met in person, but had a relationship of a sexual nature over telephone, text and social media. It’s my understanding that, last year, she reached out to you online as a fan of your work, as she did with her now ex, Michael Whiteacre. Is that your recollection?

I think so.

In Whiteacre’s case, she was the aggressor, sending him suggestive and, later, explicit messages, photos and videos. Who was the aggressor in your case — who crossed the line from professional acquaintance to something more?

It was mutual. It got explicit pretty fast as I recall.

She has said that, to her, the appeal of a relationship with you was that you both suffer with mental illness, that you were both interested in issues surrounding gender, sexuality and pornography, that one day she’d like to teach as you do… and also that she felt she would be less likely to get hurt because the relationship could never go anywhere due to your marriage and family commitments. What was your motivation — and what made you risk everything over someone who Whiteacre had warned you was seriously ill and vindictive; someone who had, for instance, been willing to bruise herself and file a false police charge of abuse to have something to hold over his head?

I’ve been in a self-destructive pattern for a while, clearly. And I was very ready to do something wild. And Christina was wild and she was a risk – Whiteacre’s warnings increased rather than decreased her appeal. And yes, we are both full-blown BPD. It made her even sexier.

Shallow fucker

I think anyone can understand how, when evidence of a ‘career-killing’ indiscretion was out there, the parties would close ranks and agree to squash the story. DMs between the two of you show you leading her to do just that.

Delete our exchanges

But, even after she attacked you on Twitter on February 23rd and admitted your relationship, you still refrained from public comment, and instead messaged her and convinced her to delete her Tweets. But in May, when Parreira began claiming that Whiteacre had fabricated all the evidence of a ‘fling’ which was the product of his “twisted mentally ill mind” you went along with her, and denied the legitimacy of what he had put forth.

All false

Why did you side with her at that time? Were you simply seizing an opportunity?

I wasn’t ready to come clean as I am now. I was still trying to sustain a lie, and I am sorry that I did that to Michael. It was useless in the end. I am so glad the truth is out. I sexted with Christina regularly and it was unethical and hot.

2013-Jan-24 3-02pm

2013-Jan-24 3-26pm

2013-Jan-24 3-28pm
8835

8836

8837

Boundaries

Christina has, by her own admission, attempted suicide several times in the last year, and (again, according her own admission, witness testimony, as well as her actions on webcam) struggles with alcohol and drug use.

Blacked out

She has changed her story about Whiteacre several times, each new iteration wilder and more damning than the last. Recently, she and her friends have stalked and harassed him and his family, and posted his private information online. As someone who shares a history of mental illness, drug and alcohol issues and suicide attempts, do you have any advice for Christina?

Same advice for me: go to therapy, take your meds, and do your best to stay sober. That’s the best we who are cursed with dual diagnosis can do.

You’ve written often about Bill Clinton, and issues surrounding infidelity. In January, Parreira asked you, “Do you think you feel slightly guilty over flirtatious and jerk off vids, and that’s compelling you to post so much about cheating, redemption etc?” You replied, “No, I mean, I write about that a lot irrespective. I fall short of my own mark sometimes, and it’s a reminder to do more and work harder. But the guilt itself is unproductive.”

Ever feel guilty

What would your answer be to that question today?

Today I’m humbled by my frailty and embarrassed by my claims of moral purity. My only advice now is to be kind to each other. There is nothing else to say.

Let’s talk a minute about Judaism, to which you converted prior to marrying your present wife. You have indicated that you believe your marriage is over. In The Big Lebowski, Walter, a convert, asks rhetorically, “When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish … Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax…” What is your feeling about the place of Judaism in your life from here on out?

I’m so broken right now. But I believe in the power of the Torah to heal me. Beyond that, no comment.

Where do you go from here — what’s your outlook in terms of your teaching career?

I am giving up my porn class and all sexuality themed classes for now. I’m applying for a semester of disability/sick leave. I need time to get well. I cannot in good conscience teach about sexuality when my own sexuality is so troubled.

Do you think you will return to writing, and if so, do you think your focus will be the same?

I will write again someday, but it will be very different. All I can say for now.

What do you hope people will take away from this interview?

That I am contrite, candid, and in need of continued mental health care.

 

CODA  by Michael Whiteacre

When I met Hugo Schwyzer on June 5, he informed me that he and Christina Parreira were no longer in contact, and that he wasn’t following her on social media. As far as I could tell, he was being truthful, and he still stands by that account.

Schwyzer says that in July his wife found out about two of his affairs “that were consummated” and later came upon the evidence of his sexting fling with Christina. It was after that, as the marriage crumbled, and he entered “free fall,” that he and Parreira “resumed contact.

He filled Parreira in on what had happened, and revealed his three consummated affairs (she wrote that the number three “came directly from Hugo” in an email she posted online on August 3rd, one day prior to the publication of this interview).

Parreira recognized it was a fait accompli that all the details of their fling would soon be made very public as part of a major story.

What to do?

Parreira has a degree in Psychology and worked as a clinician in Connecticut. Should she counsel him, and guide him on the path to recovery? Should she, as one of the people complicit in his debasement, simply back away so as to not trigger any more self-destructive behavior in him?

What do you think? LOL

Christina did what she does best – she cozied up to Hugo to solicit and collect blackmail information on him. Then she waited for the first story to appear online.

After TRPWL ran its article on her sexting fling with Schwyzer, Christina put up a blog post which supported her good friend, Hugo; called TRPWL “a hate site;” and defamed me, personally.

Noting, “I have also suffered with mental illness and so perhaps I have a bit more empathy than others,” she stated her opinion that it was “not cool” to “rejoic[e] in his mental anguish.” Christina added, “I wish Hugo luck in his recovery.”

But then, yesterday, Hugo did something that Christina found unacceptable: he treated TRPWL, the site most critical of her, as the credible news source it is by granting an interview. And not just any interview — one in which he both publicly apologized for trying to discredit me, and dared tell the truth about her.

And right on schedule, Christina went ape-shit.

Today, these two comments were submitted (but not approved) on this story:

Schmo 1

Schmo 2

Hugo has confirmed that he and Parreira communicated the night of August 4th. He also texted with me until past 11 pm. “She was furious I did the interview with you and Sean,” he revealed today. “I stand by every word of it, and I never trashed her. I trashed MYSELF.”

I then inquired how many of his other paramours were still sending him nude pics, or trying to keep him on a string in a manipulative game of sexual flirtation…

How many

Incidentally, I also encouraged Schwyzer to disconnect his internet access days ago, when he and I first resumed contact.

Despite the fact that that he‘d ignored my warnings about Christina a year ago, I have offered Hugo my best advice: discontinue contact with her.

Cutting her off

In other words, Hugo recognizes Christina as an obstacle to his recovery.

And what about my prediction that she would begin using their recent re-acquaintance against him?

Well, here’s what Christina tweeted an hour later (using the account she shares with corrupt Rhode Island escort Gina “Bella” Robinson ):

I have over 50 emails from HS since yesterday… He’s obviously very sick though and not on a path to recovery anytime soon…. Time for me to move on….”

So much for empathic support.

After I responded on Twitter — mentioning the nude pics and the invitation for him to join her in Las Vegas — Christina deleted the tweet mentioning her email exchanges with Schwyzer. LOL

Be well, Hugo and I hope you’re not online reading this.

Good night, Christina. Don’t forget to turn out the lights.

16 Responses to "Hugo Schwyzer Comes Clean on Suicide, Cheating, and Being ‘A First-Rate Fraud’ The TRPWL Interview"

  1. HighPriestess   August 5, 2013 1:37 pm at 1:37 PM

    “The truth will set you free….” For Hugo your now set free from your teaching… Set free from your personal life of lies… Set free from your lies and many, many deceptions.. You Hugo were a fake, a fraud and a phoney in every aspect of your life.. You took it to the extreme Hugo with all of your self serving, selfish things that you did.
    Now your family who I’m sure is devastated can finally face the unfortunate truth of the reality of which they now must deal with because of you.. The harsh reality you have put out there that has been thrust upon them.. For they are the true victims here..
    Finally the truth is told and Michael Whiteacre is once again proven to be the noble, honest victor here!
    For Christina/Gabriela/Ela will you learn from this? Will all the games and lies and manipulations ever end with you? I truly hope so, but I doubt it.

    Reply
    • Michael Whiteacre   August 5, 2013 3:24 pm at 3:24 PM

      ‘Noble’ is too regal a sobriquet to apply to me, certainly not in the context of this mess; I’ll settle for ‘honest’ and ‘accurate’ in my reporting and analysis. As for being a ‘victor,’ this debacle has been ugly and costly for all involved. I don’t know any good metric for keeping score.

      As for Hugo, I have certainly disagreed with him on many things, but this isn’t mortal combat. I think he did both good and harm, both publicly and privately, but I wish him well for his own sake and the sake of his family. Despite my experience with phony ‘born again’ charlatans such as Shelley Lubben, I have always believed in the possibility of redemption — as opposed to re-branding — and I hope it happens for Hugo. I listened to Springsteen’s song ‘Darkness on the Edge of Town’ last night and was reminded that the setting for personal transformation is often found at the end of one’s rope.

      I also believe he answered honestly here, which is not to say I’m confident Hugo has yet to be fully honest with himself. I don’t know, and can’t know, just as we observers can only speculate on motivation, but I’m of the opinion that this interview is, at the very least, a snapshot of the progression of a man climbing out of the deep hole he dug for himself. As his confession of his suicide plan should make plainly clear, he’s dragging a weight (or perhaps a cross — only time will tell) up a tall, steep hill.

      I’m pleased that TRPWL presented a forum for him to address the issues raised by, as well as the fallout from, the announcement of his farewell to public life. (Incidentally, Hugo provided an answer every question put to him, and those answers are published here in their entirety.)

      Reply
  2. HighPriestess   August 5, 2013 8:23 pm at 8:23 PM

    Oh well think what you like, I think differently.

    noble: a : possessing very high or excellent qualities or properties. b : very good or excellent.

    Throughout all of this complete mess, I agree with you there was no winner.. I watched it all unfold and you always took the high road it seemed.

    You were thoughtful in your reporting of facts and your truth shined through and therefore you were the victor. It was a victory that the truth you always told finally came out. The victor of truth, that was what I was meaning.

    Reply
  3. James   August 7, 2013 7:09 pm at 7:09 PM

    All these journalists publishing soft pieces on Hugo’s implosion who cast this as “it’s hard out there to be a man and a feminist” story need to read this interview so they can see that the real story is about this man’s delusion, narcissism, sociopathy. His downfall is so not about the trils of make feminism.

    Reply
  4. Benjamin Sativa   August 9, 2013 5:09 pm at 5:09 PM

    Hugo went back to Twitter today to elaborate on the motivation behind his teaching career, his writings, and the Hugo Schwyzer “brand.”

    Reply
  5. YouKnowItsWhatYouReallyWant   August 9, 2013 6:43 pm at 6:43 PM

    The thought of her being redeemed. If the fulfiller of her destiny did manage to herald miracle and see her on a new path, how will she view him then? Still as a darkness on the edge of town, always drawn to her?
    Or would she embrace him along with her family that is standing beside him, praying?

    Does such a beautiful thought prevent him giving up completely when he sees the odds so heavily stacked againt it ever coming to pass?

    Reply
  6. Pingback: [interview] Christina Parreira on Sex Worker Outing And Getting Outed | Porn Valley Observed con Gram Ponante

  7. Pingback: The Internet: People Who Get Offended Professionally | Thought Catalog

  8. Pingback: Hugo Schwyzer wanted a threesome with James Deen and I, says his sexting partner - TRPWL

  9. Pingback: Walk A Creepy Mile: The Charles May Story - TRPWL

  10. Pingback: HugoLeaks: Male Feminist Hugo Schwyzer’s Sexting Scandal Exposed (NSFW) - TRPWL

  11. Pingback: Hugo Schwyzer arrested for felony DUI - TRPWL

  12. Pingback: Huffington Post: 'Porn Professor' Hugo Schwyzer Admits He Had Sex With Several Students - TRPWL : TRPWL

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.