‘I feel cold fear. I want to stay repressed’: What it’s like to go to sex-therapy

Apr 27, 2015
Medical Procedure
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sex therapy

It is a Sunday afternoon. My children are at the park with their dad, and I am at a workshop called ‘Know Your Sexual Self’. Why? Because I avoid sexual self-consciousness as much as possible, and apparently it is healthy to face your crippling fears.

sex therapy

Two strangers are analysing my ‘sexual wheel of life’, a pie chart I’ve coloured in detailing the 12 qualities I’d like my sex life to contain – love, lust, anticipation, spontaneity and so on – and the extent to which each is present.

We conclude that there are quite a few neglected areas. Sharing this intimate information, I realise to my astonishment, does not bother me. Ten hours in, my reserve has all but gone. I listen without cringing and am happy to have the advice.

When I told a friend who is a clinical psychologist that I was planning to attend this workshop, she screamed and made a “yuck” face. My husband of 17 years, whom I did not even consider inviting to join me, was concerned only that I and the other 15 participants would “become aroused”.

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