Leya posted this earlier on Facebook. With her permission, im re-posting here:
To the man (or possibly men) that completely disregarded the fact that I am a human being, tampered with my unconscious body and disrupted the joy in my soul,
It has been quite a few years, almost four to be exact, since you trespassed on my unconscious body then left me alone in a very vulnerable state and neither you or law enforcement have done anything to mend the damage it has caused. I am not going to name names because you know who you are and I want to be the bigger person and give you the benefit of the doubt that maybe you have matured over the years and will help repair the damage that you (and possibly others?) have caused so that I can gain some closure, forgive you and move past this chapter in my life.
I remember way back when I was a young girl seeing your father, listening to your father, basically idolizing your father, so when I found out that he had a television show showcasing him and his family I was nothing short of ecstatic, I tuned into it every single week. Though I watched it mainly for your father, I thought you were the cutest little thing and the way the show portrayed your family is that yourself and your siblings were raised very well, I was disappointed when the show was cancelled but that was that until a few years later about a year after I started my career in adult films I came across something someone retweeted of you and I clicked and thought wow that cute little boy grew up into a very attractive man but I should have left it at that.
Instead of just continuing to scroll through my timeline I decided ok I will follow you and to my surprise you followed back, we exchanged numbers and started texting. You were very fun to talk to at first and rather charming which only added to the physical attraction I had for you. It seems conversation went from just friendly chat to flirty little exchanges and eventually sexting pictures to each other. I told you I was coming up to LA and you and I agreed to meet up and that is exactly what we did.
I am not sure why you wanted to just meet up in the parking garage of where I was staying when you knew you could not go into where I was staying as it was against the landlords rules, instead of a hotel or why I thought that was acceptable when you obviously come from money and have money of your own from the television show you were on. I think I may know why now though, daddy must have taught you that bitches ain’t shit but ho’s and tricks but I am here to let you know that despite what you were taught that women are in fact human beings, yes even women that have sex on camera for a living. Those women that walk the street corner, those women that escort, those women that dance on the pole, women with multiple sex partner for the hell of it, even those women that wear short skirts, cleavage bearing tops and high heels are ALL human beings and therefore deserve to be treated with the same respect you would give your mother or sister as ones occupation, attire, and CONSENSUAL sexual activities does NOT negate the fact that they are still human beings with feelings and rights.
I admittedly and PROUDLY say that yes for a living I do engage in CONSENSUAL sexual activities in adult productions (yes, only adult productions. I do not escort or do “privates” as many in my industry do not because I think it is wrong but because that is just not my thing) and yes in the past I have been known to be a bit promiscuous and yes we discussed engaging in sexual acts together however that does not justify what you did to me, You hurt my body and stole a piece of my soul and that was just not right.
Back to the garage of the place I was staying in that we met in…
You arrived with your fully suped up white Mustang with blue stripes and told me to get in so I did not thinking anything of it. I had on a pink and black dress and was holding a jacket in my arm and a drink in my hand that consisted of two shots of Tito’s vodka and cranberry lime juice that I was sipping on while you rolled up your blunt. You offered me to smoke and I said no thank you I have to work tomorrow afternoon and also weed and alcohol with me do not mix. You finished rolling your blunt and said we should go to my car and discuss where we should go next.
On the way to my car I took another sip of my drink and asked you to hold my cup for a second while I put my jacket on because I was a little cold and that is where I firmly believe you very stealthily snuck something into my drink, something that would immobilize me, erase my memory and allow you to do whatever it was you wanted to do to me. We got into my car, you went into the drivers seat, I plugged in my ipod, took another sip of my drink and went back to trying to find a good song on my ipod to listen to on the way to wherever we were going to decide to go and the next thing I know is I wake up naked, completely disoriented, my vagina feeling swollen and torn like never before, I was covered in vomit and somehow made it upstairs to the room I was staying in.
I wake up in the morning and look at my phone, still feeling very disoriented but a tad more coherent than I was when I had first woken up in the backseat of my car and realize that my ex husband had called me multiple times so I called him back. Upon calling him back he asked me what happened, what was going on and why I called him in the middle of the night and he couldn’t understand a word I was saying when I called him earlier that morning and he said he knew something was wrong and called the police in LA but had no clue where I was staying so his phone call didn’t do much. I was stuck sitting there wondering how I went from changing songs on my ipod to being naked and covered in vomit.
I checked my twitter, I checked my texts and I sent out a couple of tweets very late at night tagging you as well as texts, one of them saying “what did you do to me?” You said something to the effect of “you got drunk and I went home” which left me sitting there staring into the wall wondering how on earth I would have gotten drunk off of a drink with a total of two shots of vodka in it that I did not even finish. I have had times where I have had a lot more than that to drink and still remembered EVERYTHING and did not even have a hangover let alone puke all over myself. I was so confused and lost.
The other girls in the house asked about how my night went as I told them I was going to meet up with you and I kind of played it off trying to downplay it like I have no clue, I did not want to hint at any bit of weakness as I have made a name for myself being a super strong woman. Well, I ended up going down to my car to get my makeup so I could get ready for my shoot I had that day and noticed that not only were there panties covered in vomit right outside of my car door but when I opened my car door I saw the ENTIRE backseat covered in vomit with not one, not two, but FOUR used condoms just laying there. I was even more confused than I was before I came downstairs to my car.
I texted my mother and asked her “is it rape if you were possibly drugged and unconscious even if you discussed engaging in sexual activities with someone before you met up with them?” She said yes and I should go to the cops immediately, not take a shower or anything but with me prioritizing my career first and knowing I had a shoot in a few hours I just decided to get ready as I was not trying to be “that girl” that cancelled on a shoot right before it was supposed to happen, I also am not quite sure if I wanted to acknowledge the fact that I was just drugged and raped so I tried to go about life as normal even though inside I knew something wasn’t quite right.
Before my shoot I stopped by the office of a studio that one of my friends works at and I told him what happened and asked his opinion and he told me “yes, that is called rape, go to the cops.” I took this piece of advice and stuck it in the back of my head and headed to set as if nothing was wrong, it was a scene with no other males, just three other females and I can tell you that without a doubt that was emotionally and physically the hardest scene I have ever shot but like I said earlier, I care a lot about my career so I wouldn’t let anything stop me from being the professional that I am however immediately after the scene was done I got into my car and broke down in tears then went to the cops to report what had happened.
I told the cops the entire story, got a rape kit done even though I had showered and had females dna on me and probably not a drop left of male dna on me and completed an interview. In said interview I told them everything I am telling you right now also SPECIFICALLY that I was not trying to put you away in jail or punish you legally in any way that I simply wanted honest answers and even more specifically answers to why you felt the need to drug me in the first place and what happened while I was unconscious. They collected the used condoms out of my car and I am guessing some of my vomit and whatever other DNA they found and told me they wanted to keep my car for further investigation however I couldn’t let them keep my car as that was how I travel, they never offered a rental car or anything otherwise I would have allowed them to keep it to do what they needed to do.
Since this incident I have had severe PTSD as well as almost daily panic attacks when I see or hear ANYTHING that is even remotely related to you, I.e. your father. I cannot escape no matter where I go or what I do, he is an American music icon and is EVERYWHERE. I turn on my television, there he is cooking some food or producing some dumb show about pot heads, I turn on my radio and I hear that voice that sounds exactly like yours, I go on the internet and I see meme’s, video games, all of that, even commercials for fucking pistachios, I can’t even eat that fucking brand or even look at that brand of pistachios anymore because it is a trigger.
I remember specifically a couple months after you invaded my body without my consent I saw you and your entire family in a commercial for a certain website, one of my daughters was sitting right there and saw me scream, break out in tears and run upstairs. Whenever one of my daughters wants to listen to certain songs featuring your father and they play it I break down and tell them to turn it off they do not understand. My oldest wanted to play a specific edition of a video game with this song and I can’t allow her to play it because of the trauma you have caused, I took the game back to Gamestop and returned it specifically because your father was featured on one of the songs. My daughters were watching nickelodeon and even that I had to turn off because the misogynist that raised you incorrectly was doing a voice over, and the same thing happened with what was supposed to be a children’s movie. Your selfish and unnecessary decision to drug and rape me did not only impact me, but my little girls as well.
I am not here right now trying to get you locked up, I would rather you get an education on human rights and how you should treat fellow human beings with dignity and respect. I am not here to file a lawsuit and try to get any money from you or your family, money isn’t going to un-drug me or un-rape me, I am not here to take any sort of legal action, I am simply here as a human being that has been wounded by you seeking true and honest answers so that I can gain some closure, offer you forgiveness and move on with my life. I have the same phone number as I have had for years, if you do not still have it you can easily contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org .
The very first question I have is why would you feel the need to drug me? I found you highly attractive, I wanted to have CONSENSUAL sex with you so what on earth made you feel like you had to drug me? All you had to do was ask me if we could engage in whatever acts it was you wanted, you did not need to drug me. Also what did you drug me with? Don’t you even try again to tell me that I was just drunk because first off you and anyone that knows me knows damn well I would not get drunk off of a drink with only two shots that I didn’t even finish, so what did you slip me? and WHY?!?!
The second question I want an answer to is what was with the four USED condoms? Were there other people you brought in to fuck me along with you or were you so turned on by an unconscious woman that you came four times? Either way what made you think it was acceptable to fuck an unconscious woman? WHY?!?! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?!
Why would you leave me alone and naked hanging out of my car covered in vomit, were you that selfish and afraid of getting caught that you didn’t want to call paramedics to make sure I was ok? You were more concerned about you getting caught than children losing their mother, than a mother losing her daughter. I don’t care if it were someone I never met before if I ran across someone that was laying in a pool of vomit naked I would call the paramedics to make sure they were ok, you on the other hand slipped me something, obviously saw I was NOT ok and just left me naked and hanging out of my car where I could have possibly died from God knows what you slipped me. WHY?!?
Why would you lie to me when I asked you multiple times what happened? I can understand lying to the police with you being afraid of legal repercussions but to lie to me, the person that you drugged that is simply looking for answers and to fill in the blanks I just do not understand. Your father got away with murder, you and your family have the money for the best lawyers on earth and you know damn well you aren’t going to have any legal repercussions no matter how hard a little porn chick tries to press charges which is why when I went to the police I told them I am not trying to press any legal consequences on you, I am smarter than that, all I want to know is WHAT HAPPENED?!?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!?!
Are you aware or do you even care how huge of an impact this sexual assault has had on my life, on my daughters lives and the lives of those around me the past almost 4 years? I hope you have matured enough to discuss this and give me the answers I need privately in order for me to process, accept and forgive you for this trauma as I would rather not have the whole world know who you are and be tormented the rest of my life by being “the porn chick that was drugged and raped by ________” However if you refuse to assist me in the answers and healing I am seeking I will let you know that I am no longer afraid of the backlash and/or victim blaming I may receive by calling you out. Regardless of what you did to me, the part of my soul and body you STOLE I am strong and a SURVIVOR, I am a woman deserving of answers and I pray that you are man enough to provide me with them.
PLEASE just answer my questions to assist me in the healing of my soul you shattered so that I can forgive you and move on in life and be the person, mother, wife, WOMAN I was created to be and I pray to God that your coming clean with me will allow you to mature and grow up to be the man that God created you to be and that you will never ever EVER hurt another human being the way you have hurt me.
With hope, love, prayers, and hopefully forgiveness
The mother, daughter, wife, porn star, woman and HUMAN BEING your selfish decisions have damaged