The 55th Annual TRPWL Award Winners Are…..

Jun 1, 2018
Adult Business
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The TRPWL awards are a historic and storied awards ceremony.  Simulcast in 109 different languages all over the world on channel 1008 on Dish, a TRPWL award means you’ve arrived. Sure, Peter Warren tells everyone that an AVN award is better than a TRPWL award, but don’t listen to him, he’s the same guy who made a twitter for his beard…

 

So lets begin:

Tucker Slain Roofie Award ———— James Bartholet.

There’s nothing that James can’t accomplish in porn.  Starring in over 83000 content trade scenes, James knows how to get the “ladies” to give up the A.

I Banged The Most Scumbag Agents Award———– Gia Paige

Talk about a stroke of pure luck, Gia managed to leave noted scumbag Riley at Hussie and fall head over heals for Scottie “Oops I found your ATM Card” O’Hanian.. Sadly, marriage wasn’t in the cards for these two lovebirds…

Serenity Haze I hate Black People Award——— Davina Davis

This one was tough, it’s been a busy year for racists,  but in the end, our voters had to go with Davina..

Urban X I need To Pay Rent Award ————Urban X

That’s 2 years in a row. With its $10,000 sponsorship packages and $1000 ticket prices, there won’t be one car note not paid..

 

Tasha Reign Biggest Bitch On Set Award……………… Tasha Reign

We didn’t see this coming, sure, most everyone she comes into contact with wants to cunt punch her, but there were alot of strong contenders this year, Tasha is a wary vet, she knows how to navigate the awards circuit.

John Holmes I wish It was Still The 80’s Award………… Ruby

We all know that one person who can’t let the past go, Al Bundy scored 4tds in one game, and Ruby claims she was once a star..She started 2933 tweets with ” Back In My Day”  She was the overwhelming favorite and was the only winner to receive 100% of the vote.

Jovan Jordan My Career Is Over So Ill Make Up A Lie About the N-Word Award………   Moe Johnson

Who says the TRPWL awards aren’t multi-cultural. We honor all races equally. On a side note, please give Kanye back his black card, we don’t want him.

Scotty O’Hanian My Life Can’t Get Any Worse Award……Scotty O’Hanian
Again, this is another one that had some serious competition, in the end, the fact that Scott lost his agency then shortly thereafter was arrested for kidnapping sealed the win for him…

Tasha Reign Most Rape Claims In A Fiscal Year Award………Leigh Raven

Leigh narrowly edged out Tasha, together the account for 87% of all sexual assault cases filed in LA County. Speaking on a condition of anonymity, a person who may or may not be Law Enforcement said, Imagine who many real sexual assault cases we could solve if these 2 would stop lying”

Desi Foxxx I believe Everything Bad About Porn Award……….. Gia Paige
You know how hard it is to win two TRPWL awards in the same year? Kudos to Gia for believing and retweeting every single fake rape allegation in porn. She’s gonna be a contender for the TRPWL Hall of Fame next year, which like the Urban X Awards, you can watch for 40 bucks online via facetime…

Iwantclips award for stealing from adult workers award……YouKandy

Running off with all the money is a great business model.

Axel Braun Total Piece Of Shit Award………Axel Braun

The reasons why he keeps winning this award are to long to list..Not paying girls, trying to start fights, the list is endless.. He strikes me as the kind of guy who walks in to 7-11 wearing a shirt that says “I’m Axel Braun” and asks if “Axel Braun get a slurpee discount”

Scotty O’Hanian Theft By Credit Card Award……. Alex Chance

Great story, unfortunately, only the voters know the back story. One day, after I’ve collected all the money from simulcast viewing , I will tell this story from start to finish without embellishment.

Shy Love I Talk Down On Escorting But I Escort Award…. Shy Love

Shy Love is always going to be an Award winner in my book.  TRPWL has been chronicling her exploits for years.. Thru it all, she’s been adamant that escorting isn’t her thing…Oh Shy….You make me laugh…

Shelly Lubben Gail Dines Porn Humanitarian Award…….. Nikki Benz  & Tasha Reign

Tasha and Nikki have appointed themselves the leaders of porn.. With each lie they spread and each rape allegation disproved, their power grows stronger, much like Charlie right before they rigged the bridge with plastics explosive’s..We all know how that ended.

Best Porn Nickname Award………. Security Rapist 

This one was really tough, voters had so many to choose from, Shrek, Cuntnins, Security Rapist, just to name a few..In the end, voters had to weigh in not only how the fitting the name was, but also the public risk factor..

And now, The Big Awards, the ones that every one is waiting for:

 

TRPWL Male Performer Of The Year…………Caverject

Caverject has performed in so many scenes I’ve lost count. I’m 95% certain that that Caverject has banged 90 of the top 100 girls in the biz. Caverject may have even banged some guys..We here at TRPWL have no issues with Caverject being a crossover either..It was all part of our sensitivity training..

TRPWL Female Performer Of The Year………Drugs

I have reason to believe that if porn drug tested, there would only be about 50 girls left…And thats not a bad thing. Back in Ruby’s day, before the internet, when people watched porn on scrambled channels and gas was 11 cents a gallon, a smaller talent pool lead to less problems and higher rates…   Good times

The TRPWL Porn Blog Of The Year……………..TRPWL

OMG..Wow, I didn’t see that coming. I’d like to thank the little people who’ve helped me get to this point, the money from APAC and FSC has really helped as well…. Sure, I’ve crushed some people along the way, but I’m sure they had it coming.

If you’re offended by this post, please accept my apologies, had I known calling you a liar, escort, rapist, or asshole was offensive I wouldn’t of done it…I’m a nice person

If that apology isn’t enough, I know a lawyer named Jim, and I’m told for the right amount of blowjobs, he will take any case.

Now, who wants to send me a picture of their bush…And it better not be a man bush, not there is anything wrong with that..That’s my sensitivity training talking.

 

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Axels slurpe
Axels slurpe
2 years ago

Fuc man that’s some funny shit.

Urban X ticket
Urban X ticket
2 years ago

You rock dude!! This is some funny shit

The Game
The Game
2 years ago

AVN should let you host the AVNs. You can impart your personal knowledge as a lead in to each winner. That would comedy gold

crunkleschwitz
crunkleschwitz
2 years ago

When I see a broad take a dick thicker than a coke bottle in her ass w/ the same no sell reaction as the Undertaker getting hit in the head w/ a folding chair, I figure 2-3 muscle relaxors were washed down with some vodka about 45 minutes prior to the scene.

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