HE KNOWS what women want and what their husbands can’t deliver
John Oh, a straight male sex worker, knows his clients’ deepest, darkest secrets too.
“You hear the things friends will hear,” he said. Friends – with benefits.
It’s fair to say the life of a male escort is very different to a traditional street worker. It involves “plenty of hand-holding”, companionship and affection, Mr Oh, a part-time IT worker, told news.com.au. Sometimes there’s dinner, and for other clients a night at the opera or a casual tandem motorbike date.
The dates tend to last for at least two hours if there’s no sleepover. But it’s always about the main game – sex – which involves plenty of foreplay.
“I don’t have clients hiring me just to hold my hand,” he told news.com.au.
John, 41, is a rare breed – a member of the ‘world’s oldest profession’ who only specializes in women. But according to one of the world’s foremost researchers into the subject we may see more of them in the coming years.
“Most of the research is that most male sex workers are gay or bisexual, but more male sex workers are servicing female clients now,” said Professor John Scott, an editor of the forthcoming research tome Male Sex Work and Society in an exclusive interview.
But who hires a male sex worker? As an adult industry source pointed out to news.com.au there’s often a perception that “women can usually get it for free”.
WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT
They can be housewives, they can be professionals. They can be 18 or they can be 60.
Mr Oh’s five to six long-term clients, who he may see once or twice a week, are almost always in relationships and plan to stay in them.
Often there’s just one big problem at home – the intimacy. “They need that level of (physical) fulfilment, that one little aspect – but they need it fulfilled.”
“I’m a solution that keeps them in a relationship,” he said.
All his clients really want is simple. “The vast majority of women just want good plain sex … They’re not interested in swinging from the chandeliers and stuff like that,” he said. There are no bells or whistles.
“What they want is a man who pays attention to them: their well-being and their needs. “Hopefully gives them an orgasm because that’s something they miss with a partner or have never had with a partner.
“So normal sex, maybe a massage is the answer, and lots of oral sex. And at the end, or hopefully multiple times, maybe an orgasm.”
His more occasional clients are different. They’re often on the rebound. “(They) are looking for someone to show them that all men aren’t bastards,” he said.
He says they want to feel that ‘spark’ again and regain much-needed sexual confidence after a long, broken and often emotionally-broken relationship.
In his promotional material, he assures prospective clients he is a normal bloke who likes gardening and is happy to jump on Skype or assuage their fears on the phone.
Sometimes, he even cooks his clients dinner.
“My customers are looking for someone who they can connect with and feel comfortable with because most of them are vulnerable in some way.”
“They’re not happy just going to an agency and dealing with someone at the end of the telephone. They want to be able to talk to me and get to know me.”
One “particularly fun group” of clients are virgins, who often range from the ages of 18 to 30s. He promises them a “special” overnight experience.
“A really serious issue for men and women when they get past their early 20s if they haven’t lost their virginity it starts to affect their life very seriously,” he said.
A SEX WORKER’S (LOVE) LIFE
John fell into the “best job he’s ever had” completely by accident – he was asked to perform a striptease for a hen’s night at the pub in 1998 when a stripper did not turn up.
From there, it was mostly just a hobby for the IT worker and a supplement to his income. It was the Global Financial Crisis that led him to make the critical economic decision to jump ship.
He enjoys his job and enjoys the opportunity to emotionally ‘click’ with people. But it can be taxing.
He prefers to only see four or five clients a week so he can provide a quality service for several hundred dollars an hour. And some of his clients have become too emotionally invested.
“It’s really hard and and really difficult to deal with, but for their benefit it has to end.”
And despite the negative perception of sex work in the community, he is pleased with the work he does, which sometimes includes clients with disabilities.
“I’ve found that what I do provides real value to women who are missing intimacy in their lives.
In the end, what the world really needs is more “healthy, productive relationships”, he said.
Oh and Mr Oh is in a long-term relationship. She has been very supportive of his career choice.