As LGBT and queer people continue to gain ground in acceptance, it is important to have another imperative conversation about sexuality if we are to expand and to push our movement further. There is one aspect that it seems that often goes ignored or even rejected by those in the LGBT community, and that aspect is the freedom to self-identify one’s sexuality or gender identity.
Gay men more often than lesbians tend to be less accepting of the freedom to self-identify one’s sexuality. For example, bi-phobia exists heavily within the LGBT and the heterosexual community and mostly comes from straight women and gay men. Bisexuality is often criticized and proclaimed as ‘non-existent’ ; heterosexuals will say that bisexuals are confused while gay men will often say that bisexuals are people who are afraid to come out of the closet; this notion is a self-defeating cause in the movement for LGBT acceptance which is actually part of a bigger movement for sexual freedom.
Because it is the right of every person to decide and to choose and/or change their sexuality and gender identity whenever they want without the criticism from others around them. Alfred Kinsey in his research found that sexuality is not black and white, but rather fluid and subject to change.
Another misconception and argument that is often used is that everyone is a little bit homosexual to some degree. Yes, is it true that most people will maybe have one or two same-sex attraction in their lives? Sure, but most people will not use that as an excuse to identify as bisexual or pansexual. It is up to the individual to decide what they identify as and not anyone else; some people are in fact not gay to any degree and will not have any same-sex attraction and it is their right to proclaim that.
However, this situation also comes worse when people identify as “ex-gay” which causes gays to often criticize the person and to claim that the person will always be gay and that they should accept it and stop hiding from their “true feelings.” But once again, true sexual freedom should allow people to decide what their sexuality is and isn’t and allow them to change it when they want. Just as gays have the right to identify as gay, former gays should have the right to identify as “ex-gay.”
Transgender people have the hardest time with acceptance because many people often outside the LGBT community refuse to acknowledge their choice to identify as another sex or gender; and just as gay men often attack bisexuals for their choice to identify as bisexual, they fail to realize that attacking someone for their sexuality choice is no different than failing to acknowledge the choice of transgender people.
