You’re probably familiar with Kegel exercises. But, have you heard of full-on vagina weight lifting? It’s simple, really. You just get yourself a set of vagina weights and sign up for Kim Anami’s at-home weekly course in vaginal strengthening. For just $500, you can experience Vaginal Kung Fu.
In an effort to promote her services, Anami commissioned a (NSFW) video highlighting all the reasons why you should take up vaginal weight lifting. Some of these reasons are solid, like suggesting Kegels don’t work for everyone and that you may be able to have a more intense orgasm with the proper weight-lifting routine. Some of them are just silly — for example, suggesting that you and your black-belt vagina would be the life of the party if you could win a game of beer pong by throwing the ball with your vaginal muscles. Or, at the very least, use these muscles to pop open a cold beer.
Except, you are a woman — not a frat-house party trick. And, though the video was certainly intended to be humorous, we think we may have missed the punchline. This feels especially true when you consider that most of the reasons offered benefit men. For example, your crazy-strong vagina will intensify his orgasm. Anami’s marketing tool discusses sex in a strictly heterosexual sense, and for a video about giving people strength, it doesn’t feel very empowering.
Check out the full clip and sound off in the comments below. Are we simply unaware of a secret advantage to having a jacked vagina? We know what you’re wondering at this point, and the answer is no. Despite its impressive feats and heteronormative suggestions, vagina weight lifting will not be an event at the upcoming Winter Olympic Games. Zing! (The Gloss)