I took some flak the other day from my radio partners Bruce Buffer, and TJ DeSantis for my stance on first dates. Bruce is the longtime UFC Octagon announcer, and TJ is a mixed martial arts commentator and radio producer. Together they host Bruce’s radio podcast It’s Time!, on Fox Sports.
For the past five years, I’ve been co-hosting a once monthly ‘sex and relationships’ version of their MMA show called, “The S&R Show”. The three of us have this crazy amazing chemistry together, and sometimes the subject matter goes into unchartered territory, or we get totally sidetracked talking about inappropriate shit. Either way, I love making the guys squirm, much to their chagrin.
The topic of “First Dates” just came up on the show, and TJ (who’s married) and Bruce (who’s conventional) razzed me on air about my advice for first time daters. I admit I’m single, and exceptional, so maybe that’s why I believe that everyone should put out on the first date. Why waste days or months figuring out if you guys have chemistry? If you’ve agreed to go on a date with that person, then you must know you want to fuck that person? Unless he or she totally screws up the date… there shouldn’t be a reason to NOT screw them after the date. – Right?
At this point in my life, I know what I want. You know what you want. So we should stop pussyfooting around. If I’ve agreed to go on a date with you, that means I’ve ‘pre-screened and preselected’ you. It’s not about whether I want to sleep with you; it’s just a matter of when. This goes for guys I meet through friends, work, Tinder, and online.
But not everyone agrees with my philosophy. Meaning the guys, Bruce and TJ. They thought my approach was okay if I wanted to “play with someone,” not stay with someone. And my response was, “The right guy for me is someone who will appreciate my honesty and straightforwardness.” And if he doesn’t, well then… What a great way to weed out the men from the boys.
Bruce and TJ told me that I was an anomaly, and that most women weren’t like me. I wondered if that were true? I decided to ask a few of my girlfriends who are also strong women role models, to write me a first date story of theirs (whether it was good or bad), where they learned a lesson from the experience. I didn’t tell them my position on the subject; I wanted their individual insights and anecdotes. Below are their eight different takes on the do’s and don’t for first dates.
DON’T STAY IN NEUTRAL (wake the fuck up, you’re on a date)
I had a first date with a guy that I didn’t take very seriously. He seemed more like a fun time than a long-term life partner. He wanted to take me to a French restaurant with very rich food and I suggested going somewhere a little less intense (less pressure, and it’s so hard for me to fuck with a stomach full of foie gras), so we ended up at a classic Chinese restaurant that coincidentally we both had history with.