Now when you get busted all coked up and give tourer wife or husband herpes you can blame the book…
Two Belgian university professors recently decided to submit the 10 most borrowed books at the Antwerp library to bacteriology and toxicology tests.
Traces of cocaine were found on all 10 books. The traces were small enough that readers would not feel the effects, but significant enough that they could test positive for cocaine.
But the real case of life imitating art was revealed when the scientists discovered traces of the herpes virus in the pages of the erotic tale Fifty Shades of Grey.
In order to prevent a public panic, professors assured readers that the concentrations of the herpes virus were minimal and that the virus could not be contracted simply by touching the book.
They also suggested that books are for reading.
This story presents the best alibi since “I must’ve got it from a toilet seat, baby!”
What’s most sickening about these books is the writing. The secondary effects from physical contact with them pale by comparison.