This has been a long time coming. But two weeks ago on Christmas Eve, it was Nexxxt Level CEO, CFO, CEEO, STD, BBW, Assistant VP of the ole bait and switch, Lauren Phillips and the guy she’s not dating, Jonathan Morgan’s anniversary.
Once I accused them of dating:
Lauren was so offended by my accusation, that she blocked me:
I guess after I accused her of dating him, she took a step back and said “He’s not that bad for a 68 year old man with anger/control issues prone to violent outbursts and a coke habit that would make Bartholet’s Asian connect blush, let’s give it a shot.” Worst thing was, she never sent me a thank you card for pushing them together.
But this isn’t the reason for another award wining post. I know what Astrid’s thinking, “If I sell my food stamps for 50 cents on the dollar, will I have enough money for drugs and more drugs? And the rest of you are probably thinking, is this another Nexxxt Level is breaking the law post? TRPWL, Please don’t bring up that time Lauren cried about not winning a contest. Look people, I’m not here to rehash old Lauren posts, if so, I’d bring up the time she said Derek Hay owned TRPWL
No, this is a congratulatory post. After all it’s sort of still the Holidays, and if we’ve all learned one thing about your Ole’ Boy TRPWL, it’s that I like a nice bush, and I’m a very festive person.
Ever wonder what a guy in love buys for his significant other? Well, TRPWL is here to answer that question for you.
From the Shrek PR:
“Sexy statuesque fiery redhead influencer, adult actress, gamer, and model Lauren Phillips has scored the cover (PURCHASED) and a five-page feature in the October issue of Playboy New Zealand.
After being featured in the September issue of FHM Australia, Lauren has one-upped herself with the cover and a feature in the October issue of Playboy New Zealand. Lauren’s cover is iconic with her fiery red hair loose on her shoulder, a barely-there black and gold leotard hugging her every curve, black thigh-high boots, and gold-accented jewelry. Once again, the team of Ryan Dwyer and make-up artist Taylor Jazz have come together to work with the stunning ginger adult star.”
Buying covers is like buying followers, you may fool some of the people, but you can’t fool Ole’ TRPWL.. Am I 95% certain she bought the covers, pretty close…
And I don’t care really, I only care when you rip off your fellow roster mate to buy them.
From an alleged wire tap at the NL Office
Ring ring, Ring Ring
NL–Sniff sniff sniff. Hello?
PC–Yes, I’d like to book Rebecca Vanguard for my latest installment of Naked Name Changers vol 88.
NL–Sorry. She’s out with a bruised pinky toe, but Lauren Philips is available. As you know she’s a natural redhead and is totally not married to me. In fact, I’m repulsed by the sight of her, but I want to make sure you’re happy.
PC— Sweet, I’ll send over the 2000 bucks right away.
NL— Perfect that’s just enough for a FHM cover, I mean that’s just enough for hair dye, no wait, yes, send it over..
Now, I cant be 100% sure that’s a real conversation, but what I am certain of, NL is famous for the Ole “not available but LP is.” I know of numerous girls who left because of that.
Any one who thinks an agency ran by talent who’s married to one of the owners will be fair to the rest of the roster is sniffing to much of Astrids meth…
How many agencies charge talent 400 bucks for photos? How many of those agencies substandard photos are taken BY one of the owners?
How many covers can you buy with, one second, let me do some math. 34 roster people x 400 = 13,600 – 3400 for make-up – the 400 Lauren probably didn’t pay = 9800. Pretty good haul. I see another magazine cover in Laurens future.
And I have a question. Who legally changes their government name to their porn name? And I the only one who finds this odd? You’re not a Muslim boxer or Malcolm X. You’re Jonathan Morgan’s wife, C-rate porn chick. If you weren’t with NL, and married to the owner, you’d be a Hussie Model doing blow bangs for 600 bucks or free so Riley would let you out of your contract.
So next time you’re bragging about how popular you are, keep that in mind.